A Journey for the Heart
by E-DeSolis
Summary: Commander Elika Shepard's journey to find herself and love throughout the game. Her haunted past and secrets are revealed to her friends and the one she loves. Rated "M" for adult themes, language and violence.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of the Bioware and Dragon Age names or characters. This is rated M so readers be advised on adult contents that will make appearances in later chapters. This is completely meant for fun and it is the way that I would have loved to see the game be played out.**

The ache in my heart was slowly fading as I stood outside the door to her room. It had been months since the destruction of the crucible. The first few weeks were unbearable not knowing if she was alive or dead. The constant questioning of the crew, Kaidian constantly telling me she couldn't have survived the blast, Tali, Joker, and Liara's constant hovering. I truly felt that I was going mad; the ache in my heart where she resided was growing with the unanswered question of where she is. Is she waiting at some bar for me in the afterlife or have the spirits granted her, her life once again? The moment the communications were repaired in the Normandy we heard the news, she was alive. It was another few months before we could get the Normandy up and running. The world we were stranded on was causing us dextro's some strain on the ration reserves, and the day we left that planet was one of the happiest of my life because it meant I was getting closer to her. The relays were not fully functional yet so travel took time but we were able to restock our supplies and I was getting constant updates on her recovery. Miranda was there, she wasn't giving me all the details I could tell but at least she was alive and recovering. We were a week out from earth when she finally woke up and the first thing she asked was "where is he?", not where am I or why am I alive, it was about me and my heart stopped.

Now I am standing here outside of her door and the ache in my heart is almost gone, and I am reminded of the first time I saw her. I am not even sure she remembers that we ever met before that day she barged into my life head first on some crazy quest. It was a few years before that day I was a new C-sec officer, thanks to my father, and a ship was coming in with survivors from a slaver base that some specters destroyed. When I came in to the C-sec offices that day she was there pacing like a caged varren. There was a few marines with her but she was one the strangest sights I have ever seen. The anger and rage seemed to radiate from her, a krogan in a bloodrage probably would have given her a wide berth. The marines with her even seemed to shrink in her presence. She was wearing a standard Alliance uniform which wasn't surprising but the two visible tattoos on her arms were, along with a set of daggers that looked suspiciously like thresher maw daggers that some krogan carry. There was a scar that ran across her face from her hairline through her right eye down her cheek. Her eyes were the strangest coloring I have ever seen on a human blue violet that matched the streaks of blue and violet in her curly raven hair. Her constant pacing seemed to put everyone on edge in the vicinity, it probably did not help that she seemed to be constantly keeping a slight shimmer of biotics that ran the length of her body in check. It wasn't until they brought the survivors off the ship into the offices that she stopped. There was a young man probably still a boy by human standards with the same raven hair, the moment she saw him every thing changed. She ran to him calling out "Braven, Braven". The boy looked up at her and she fell apart holding him they clasped on the floor. The officers moved them in to a interrogation room and that was the last time that I saw of her, but somehow I knew I wasn't going to forget her. That strange human was burnt into my memory and I did not know why.

I start to pace and then turn and pause at the threshold to her room, I am scared and nervous about whom I will find in there. Will she still me the woman I fell in love with or will the survivor of Mindoir and Akuze, the one in the mask be present once again. As I look through the window of her door into her room I can see that she is playing that stupid Dragon Age game on her omnitool yet again. She always liked playing a rouge in that game, it was one of the last things that her father gave her. When I enter she doesn't notice me she is to enthralled in her game, it is not until I start to laugh at the sight of her, the adorable smirk on her face when she is killing imaginary mercenaries, dragons, shades and what not, that she turns.

"You're here." Those two words undo me I run to her side and take in what I see, my Shepard is still there. A few new scars one on her face that almost matches the one her character in Dragon Age has the one that is similar to mine mars her face and to me it just makes her more beautiful and a true smile something that has been lacking for months finally crosses my face. She is here and I am home finally complete no more heart ache. All I feel is relief, love and her tears on my shoulder as I hold her in my arms, never wanting to let her go.


	2. Chapter 2

_She was running, running from the burning bodies of her family, running from the flames and the gunfire. She needed to find him; she needed to find her little brother Braven. They were playing hiding seek in the fields that surrounded their house on Mindoir when ships came from the sky and destruction began to rain down upon them. She was running as fast as she could to her brother's favorite hiding spot when she felt pain a sharp pain in her leg. The shot from the batarians gun didn't even register in her mind, she needed to find him. She came upon the grove and she saw the bloody drag marks from under the fallen log heading back towards the colony's town center. She didn't hear them until she was surrounded by three batarian slavers. She smelt the blood on them and fear ran through her when she saw the look into their eyes. The smell of eezo and a flash of blinding blue and white light…_

She woke with a start her body was covered in sweat and she could still smell the burning flesh of her family. The hull of the Normandy the newest ship in the Alliance fleet was humming a familiar sound to her. She opened her sleeper pod and walked to the restroom absent mindedly rubbing the tattoos on her forearms intent on washing her past away. Everyone on board seem to look at her in awe or give her a wide berth when she pasted, it was one of many reasons that she didn't like getting to know her crew. As the XO of the Normandy that was starting to raise some concerns with Captain Anderson, and he was like the father that she lost and she did not want to disappoint him. But there was one person on the ship that she did get along great with and that was where she was heading.

"So Commander, what do you think of this assignment? It seems a little odd to have a Spectre on board for a shake down." said her favorite cocky pilot.

The first day on board the Normandy she met him and the lieutenant, Kaidan Alenko, in the cockpit of the ship. Flight Lieutenant Jeff "Joker" Moreau broke through her shell the very first day they meet at the academy, cracking jokes and being a smart ass. She was there for some flight training and he was eating alone in the mess. When she had found out that he was going to be her student advisor, he got on her case about questioning his background and qualifications almost immediately. She didn't understand why until he told her about the Vrolik Syndrome and before their first conversation was done he had put his foot in his mouth. The conversations and banter after that was fun and at put her mind at ease. The worse of the joking came about when he figured out she was excellent in everything from her biotics, tech, and weapons but for the life of her she could not fly or even drive the Makos. His always present hat was a gift from him when he had got his first assignment.

"Joker it's not my place to question an order and maybe you should watch yourself."

"I know Commander but Nihlus seems a little, I don't know it just feels as if something more is going on than they are telling us."

"It's not really our place to ask questions. We're soldiers we follow orders and that's that."

"Captain Anderson, approaching Mass Relay."

"Make it so Joker."

The tension in her stomach started to build. It was always there at every jump, she could feel the fields as they grew in strength and she could feel the shift as Joker finished the countdown and the jump occurred. The split second of nothingness and light, followed then by the return of gravity and the sudden tension of her stomach melted away.

"1500 is good. Your Captain will be pleased." The sudden sound of Nihlus had everyone jump except Shepard because she had felt his presence the moment he had stepped on to the bridge. With that said he left the cockpit.

"I hate that guy," commented Joker, as he tapped away at his console.

Kaidan gave the pilot a confused look. "Nihlus gave you a compliment and…so you hate him."

"Good, he said. Good! I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy, and hit a target the size of a pinhead. That's incredible! Besides, Spectre's are trouble. I don't like having them on board. Call me paranoid."

"Joker my dear pilot, you're paranoid." Shepard said as she flicked his hat and lead back against his chair to talk at the stunned Kaidan.

"El that is so not cool." Shepard spun around and lowered her eyes to his face and if he hadn't seen the mischief in her eyes he would have sworn he was in trouble when she said "That is Commander, Lieutenant."

"Joker. Status report," came Anderson's voice over the comm.

Joker gave Anderson the report than finished with, "Better watch yourself, Sir, I think Nihlus is headed your way."

"He's already here, Lieutenant," came Anderson's displeased voice.

All three of them winced, as Anderson continued, requesting Shepard's presence, before closing the comm.

"Thanks. I think you made him angry" Kaidan said with amusement in his voice. Shepard nodded to them both and went to the debriefing room to find out about the mission. As she was walking away she could hear Kaidan ask about her to Joker and Joker just laughing. This was defiantly going to be an interesting tour.

* * *

Eden Prime was beautiful, but the similarities between it and her home had started to bring painful memories to the surface once again. Jenkins was all excited in the shuttle and once they landed until they came across their first casualties. The colonists' bodies had been burned beyond recognization. As they cleared a path to the dig site in hopes to recover the beacon and in her mind aid the survivors even though that was second to the mission she watched as Jenkins became more withdrawn. He blindly would rush ahead and that is when it happened.

Combat drowns took down his shields in seconds then he collapsed. She tried to run to him but Kaidan held her back the fight lasted seconds after that the drowns were brought down by a combination of biotics and her pistol. Kaidan went to Jenkins's body at the look on his face told her everything, the young corporal that was egging Kaidan to use his biotics against him in the cargo bay three days ago was gone.

"We will be back for him no one gets left behind," she told him with sincerity that through Kaidan for a bit of a loop.

They continued down the path to the dig site and on their way the saved Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, of the 212 when she was pinned down by the Geth. When they finally reached the dig site the beacon was gone and in its place where spikes with what appeared to be human corpses on them.

"What are those?" Kaidan asked looking up at the spikes and the defiled bodies. She did not get to respond before the spikes retracted and the corpses re-animated with glowing eyes and skin, she froze. The husks swarmed her and as Kaidan and Ashley tried to shoo them off her she reached for her twin daggers and sliced upward to clear a path for her then with a charge to escape the mass of husks and a biotic reave, which she usually hid the fact that she knew how to do, the area was cleared. "Shepard are you okay?"Kaidan asked with a puzzled look. He had never seen anything like that.

"I am fine Lieutenant. Lets keep moving ." with that said Kaidan's questions about her biotics were silenced.

After helping some lab techs and getting a new toy as she liked to call it from some farmer smugglers, and fighting more husks and Geth they came upon Nihlus's body. Shepard was pissed she lost someone else on this mission someone that she felt a slight connection with even though she never voiced it. She and Nihlus had been talking almost every night about insignificant things. He told her about his culture and would ask questions about her past which she cunningly redirected right back at him. And now to find his body and to learn about the Saren's betrayal from a cowardly lazy dock worker mad her pissed to the point that her biotics flared around her for a few seconds.

"Fuck, we need to get to the space port and retrieve the beacon."

"Hey LT is that normal for the commander to lose control like that."

Ashley your guess is good as mine, I haven't known her for long just got assigned to the Normandy. From everything that I have seen I would say no, but if you're really concerned you could always ask Joker when we get back to the Normandy."

"Hey if you two are done gossiping like teenagers we have a slight situation with some Geth and a few bombs that need to be disabled."

"Right Commander" they said in unison. The disabling of the bombs and the battle to the beacon went by in a blur. Kaidan was once again impressed with Shepard's biotics went what looked like a shockwave sent Geth flying from cover to be picked off by Ashley.

Shepard turned towards the towering artifact on the port. She brought her fingers to her helmet and flagging the Normandy for a pick up before she headed down with Ashley in tow; Kaidan followed them, his eyes on the beacon. He stopped, a few feet from it as he watched his Omni-tool blink weirdly, but before he could even give his arm a shake to get the static cleared, there was a sharp sound in his ears that disoriented him, his feet slid forward against his will. Struggling he tried to reach down to turn on his mag boots to grip the metal under him but he couldn't move.

Strong arms wrapped around his torso and in seconds his body was thrown to the side and he watched in horror as Shepard body floated up into the air. Shepard's scream rippled through him and he stood up, a wave of dizziness shaking him. Ashley reached out locking her arms around him and held him back.

"No, don't-"

Shepard screamed again, blood slowly drips out of her nose and her body arched in an angle that seemed unnatural before the beacon blew up. Her body flew far back and she dropped to the ground, unconscious. He scrambled to his feet, reaching out to her before the shadow of the Normandy passed over them. He cradled her head and fear settled into his stomach as he looked down upon her to watch her shallow breathing.

"Joker get Chakwas to the cargo bay Shepard is down."

* * *

_Screams. Blood. Noise. Machines. Chaos. _

That was she could remember when she woke to the lights in the Infirmary. She felt a presence beside her before she heard Kaidan telling Doctor Chakwas that he thought she was waking up. The next few hours passed in a blur as she told Captain Anderson about the vision she believed she had. She felt that it was some type of warning but was not really sure. After the debriefing and finding Kaidan and Ashley to talk with, and to ease their stress about the mission that went south she found herself hiding in the cockpit with Joker heading to the Citadel to face the Ambassador and the Council.

"Two more feathers Joker. Two more."

"You know El you haven't shown it to me in awhile. How far do the feathers go now?"

"Well my family filled the right wing and my friends and my squad from Akuze filled the left. Add these to the other squad members I have lost it should be to my knees. But this will be the first name in Turian that will be one me. If we have time I am going to get them down on the Citadel if you want to come with and you can see them."

"I will make the time to be there." Joker watched as Shepard rose and turn to leave. She just barely missed walking into Kaidan who put a hand out to stop her, but all she did was step around him and gave him a slight smile and nod with her head."

"Hey Joker, what does she mean by feathers?"

"Alenko, were you ease dropping on a private conversation between friends?"

"I didn't mean to I am just worried about Shepard. She seems off. First it was her biotics, which I have never seen anything like them before and I was at Jump Zero. Now she seems down and she is almost unapproachable which isn't like her from what I have gathered so far on this tour."

"The biotics you will have to ask her, I won't go there, but she will be her perky self after she gets some sleep. She doesn't like to lose people under her command. The feathers are a trade secret but if you by my drinks on our next shore leave I will tell ya."

"Done."

"They are just one of her many tattoos that you probably will never see which I have been privileged to." Joker answered with a smirk on his face and a chuckle in his voice. One look at Kaidan's face plus the free drinks that were to come was totally worth that comment and the wrath of Elika to follow. This in turn had him quickly typing out a message to her about the possibility of Kaidan asking about tattoos.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone sorry for the delay on the post but tis the season for drama everywhere. You all know what I mean. Well hope you like it and I would love some feedback if anyone is interested. Thanks!**

"Well that was a joke and a waste of time," Ash's comment made both Kaidan and Shepard snicker.

"Very well said, and now time to find some evidence. Anyone got any ideas?" Shepard looked between her two squad members. She was frustrated the council had not listened to reason but had supported Saren.

"What about that Turian from C-sec … Garrus was his name right. He was investigating Saren maybe he can help." Kaidan responded. Shepard had notice that lately he seemed to be a bit unsure of himself when talking to her. It was starting to bother her and Joker had told her after the beacon incident that he did not leave her side until he was removed by Chakwas, and then had came back after he had got something to eat. She was wondering if she was going to have to do something about him. She always hated having to keep her subordinates in check, that was one thing she loved about Joker they were as thick as thieves and he was like her brother and he even treated her like family something she sorely missed but would not admit to anyone not even him.

"Udina said we should talk to Harkin to out his location and Anderson messaged me and suggested we should go talk to the information broker Barla Von. I am thinking the broker may be a better choice then dealing with a drunken C-sec officer."

* * *

Leaving Barla Von's and heading to C-sec to find the Krogan bounty hunter Shepard pondered the information they had just learned. First Barla Von works for the Shadow Broker, second Fist betrayed said Shadow Broker to join with Saren and finally a very large possible angry Krogan was in C-sec trying to hunt Fist down. All she could think was great what had I got myself into this time.

Arriving at C-sec she could official tell she was going to get into trouble. She could tell that the Krogan was a Krogan Battlemaster and he was pissed. After dealing with the officer's he came right up to her and introduced himself as Urdnot Wrex.

"Commander Sheppard. You're of the clan Urdnot? I met a clan member of yours sometime ago. He helped me carve these "she said while showing her twin maw daggers that she always cared on her, "after they were removed from me of course."

"Ha, ha, ha, ha that must be a great story, best for another time. Fist is hold up in Chora's Den and I plan on killing him I hope that is fine with you? You also might want to know that there is a Turian looking for him as well I think he went to the Med Clinic in the Upper Wards."

"That sounds like it could be Garrus, Commander" Ash said will eyeing the Wrex suspiciously. Kaidan on the other hand was standing a little too close to her for comfort the moment Wrex had approached them.

"Ashley why don't you head back to the ship and fill in Joker on the situation, Kaidan, Wrex you're with me. Lets head to the clinic first then go get interrupt Fist's day."

* * *

Garrus couldn't believe it. There she was standing in front of him first giving him a compliment on his quote "ridiculously amazing shot" then yelling at him for taking it. But what was more outlandish was the feeling that he seen her before. The feeling was so overwhelming that he didn't even realize that she had sent the other human away and was waiting for him to join her and the Krogan to go after Fist to save the Quarian.

"Shepard to Garrus are you in there?" Shepard said while waving her hand in front of his face. "Hey ya big armored lizard, if ya want to come, time is a wasting and we are leaving, so move out."

Garrus followed them as they left the clinic. It didn't take them long to reach Chora's Den and even before they reached it there was a fire fight. Inside the club he saw firsthand what her biotics were like and as if in that instance he remembered… _A human woman that looked no older than a girl pacing like a caged varren. There was a few marines with her but she was one the strangest sights I have ever seen. The anger and rage seemed to radiate from her; a Krogan in a bloodrage probably would have given her a wide berth. The marines with her even seemed to shrink in her presence. She was wearing a standard Alliance uniform which wasn't surprising but the two visible tattoos on her arms were, along with a set of daggers that looked suspiciously like thresher maw daggers that some Krogan carry. There was a scar that ran across her face from her hairline through her right eye down her cheek. Her eyes were the strangest coloring I have ever seen on a human blue-violet that matched the matched the streaks of blue and violet in her curly raven hair. Her constant pacing seemed to put everyone on edge in the vicinity, it probably did not help that she seemed to be constantly keeping a slight shimmer of biotics in that ran the length of her body in check. It wasn't until they brought the survivors off the ship into the offices that she stopped. There was a young man probably still a boy by human standards with the same raven hair, the moment she saw him ever thing changed. She ran to him calling out "Braven, Braven"._

Her hair was pulled back now in a low knot and she looked older but that didn't interfere with her looks, for a human she was beautiful. The one major difference was her eyes; they seemed to know more pain than they did before. His sudden observations caused a minor lapse in judgment and ended up with a bullet in the chest. His med-gel had already released and no blood was visible but Sheppard had seen the impact and was heading towards him. He tried to wave her off but her only concern seemed to be him.

"Shepard I am fine. Lets get Fist and be done with this."

* * *

The fight had ended with Wrex putting a bullet into Fist's head, and some OSD's she thought a reporter could used that had asked her for information on their way here.

By the time they got to the meeting place were the Quarian was supposed to be they found the assassins and her fighting for her life. They immediately started shooting and trying to reach the Quarian.

The fight lasted seconds once the strangers had arrived and Tali was grateful. She checked herself over for suit tears then her anger over Fist got the best of her.

"Are you alright?" Shepard asked with great concern. She had learned about Quarians and knew that a tear in the suit could lead to an infection and death.

"I am find thank you. My name is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, and I would like to help you if I can"

"Shepard I think this conversation would be best held somewhere other than a back alley." Shepard turned to look at Garrus after he said that. It was the first time that he was actively involved in a conversation and this stunned her. Wrex and her had been talking the entire time they were heading to the club and even during the fight. Upon meeting Garrus he had barely said anything unless a direct question was put to him.

"Your right Garrus lets head back to the embassy."

* * *

Udina was ecstatic with the information that Tali had provided from the Geth. After that it was a whirlwind of events. Saren was labeled a rouge Spectre. She got initiated and became the first human Spectre. The Normandy SSV was assigned to her after Captain Anderson had stepped down. The Council tasked her to go after Saren and gave her a few leads on where to look first and finally she had three new members to add to her ground crew. She honestly did not know where to begin.

Joker followed her to her quarters she had just got done addressing the crew of the situation and her promotion to Commanding officer of the Normandy. "You know that was a pretty good speech if I saw so myself, and you know I would never lie to you. You scare me when you become angry Shepard."

"Angry Shepard, really Joker you make me sound like I am an Elcor."

"Well you must be excited with the new crewmembers, even if I think that the Krogan and Turian are going to get in a fight together. Tali is interesting she already introduced herself and couldn't stop talking about my baby; she is down in engineering with Adams. I hope he can keep up with her."

"Well Wrex and Garrus said they would be on their best behavior towards each other so that should be interesting and your baby might just be in better hands now that Tali id on board. Her engineering skills are downright intimidating. So Jeff I got a request for you."

"Great whenever Jeff leaves you mouth I know said favor is for something that is not going to be fun."

"Well actually you said you would already go with me it just means you will be missing out on drinks with Kaidan which I know you are looking forward to since he asked me about my tattoos…."

"Okay lets go, how long should I tell the crew before we leave?"

"I am giving the crew 12 hours of shore leave. I don't think there is going to be much more in the future and I think they are going to need it. This also gives the new recruits some time to finish up any other business they might have on the Citadel before we head out."

"Alright, I will inform the crew and meet you at the airlock. And El?"

"Yeah?"

"Drinks with Kaidan may sound like fun but lately everything seems to be about you. I thought you should know and all. Just be careful and when you break the poor guy's heart which will be inevitable try to be nice about it. I like the Lieutenant and I don't want to listen to him afterwards. I have already tried to warn him but I am not sure he has taken the hint."

"Thanks Joker."

* * *

Garrus was heading back to the Normandy. Shepard had let him join the mission and he was excited. He had never been what you would call a good Turian and that is probably why he had a hard time at C-sec. But following the newly appointed Spectre seemed to be the right thing for him to do. Saren had betrayed the Council and The Hierarchy. He was passing through the wards and noticed the pilot of the Normandy standing outside a Tattoo shop run by an Assari that he knew. There was a woman standing in the shop with her back turned towards the door and on her back was a pair of feathered wings. They went across her shoulders and extended down past her lower back with the tips just barely visible below the shorts she wore on her hips. There were feathers falling down the sides of her legs. He was wondering who the woman was and got his answer when he heard her voice calling to Joker to come and check out the new work. Garrus was wondering what the significance of the wings were, but he knew he would never ask her unless she showed them to him. He did not want to seem like some Vorcha so he turned and continued on his way back to the Normandy. He wasn't sure what the feelings he kept having about his Commanding officer but Spirits he was not going to let her or anyone find out about them until he figured them out for himself.


	4. Chapter 4

"Too close, Commander. Ten more seconds and we would've been swimming in molten sulfur. The Normandy isn't equipped to land in exploding volcanoes. They tend to fry our sensors and melt our hull. Just for future reference."

"Jeff…"

"We almost die out there and you Pilot is making jokes."

"Joker pulled our asses out of there. He has earned the right to make a few bad jokes. It is just how he is. He worries."

"That doesn't sound like worry to me Commander."

"Kaidan enough."

"Sorry Commander."

"Dr T'soni do you know anything about the Conduit?"

"Only that is was somehow connected to the Prothean extinction. This is my real area of expertise. I have spent the last fifty years trying to figure out what happened to them. "

"Well you maybe in luck there. We found a Prothean beacon on Eden Prime and in downloaded something into my head. Right now it is just a bunch of images jumbled together."

"Commander if you would allow me I could see what you saw and maybe together with my knowledge of the Protheans we could figure it out.

"How would we do this?"

"I would connect our minds to share the vision."

"So like some Vulcan mind meld thing?"

"I am sorry Commander but I do not understand the question."

"Never mind. Lets try it."

Liara came to stand in front of Shepard, as Garrus watched, her eyes turn black and she spoke "Relax Commander and Embrace Eternity." They were frozen for a minute and the look on Shepard's face was one of pain and terror. Liara came out the trance first and took a step back.

"Fuck, my head feels like it just got head butted by a Krogan."

"He, he , he. How would you know that Shepard?" Wrex stated with amusement on his face.

"I am sorry Commander but that was incredible. All this time. All my research. Yes. I… I never dreamed… I am sorry. The images were so vivid I never imagined the experience would be so … intense. You are remarkable strong willed Commander. What you have been through and what you have seen would have destroyed a lesser mind."

"Thank you Liara," as Shepard was speaking Liara began to waver on her feet. "Are you okay?"

"Yes Commander. I think I need to lay down that took a lot out of me I am sorry."

"No problem. Kaidan, could you escort Liara to her quarters. Joker set a course to Pinacle Station. Everyone else your dismissed."

"Thank you for saving me Commander. I will help you as best as I can."

"You're welcome Liara."

* * *

Garrus had been working on the Mako for about an hour when he heard Shepard come off the lift. She made her rounds talking to Ashley, who was a little xenophobic. He could tell that Shepard was slowly getting her to come away from her prejudices. Then she was talking to the mountain of a Krogan Wrex who was still trying to get her to tell the story of where she got her daggers from. He was fixing the axel when he felt a kick to the bottom of his foot.

"Are you going to come out of there or are you going to avoid me like you have been doing most of this cruise so far."

In truth he had not been avoiding her, he just didn't know what to make of the feelings that she brought up in him, and so he would always be busy when she came around either polishing his armor or cleaning his guns. After thinking about it he realized she would talk to all of the crew members and had tried to get him to join the conversations more than once so it would seem like he was avoiding her. He crawled out from under the Mako to see her staring him down. Her hair was down and she was in her usual N7 hoodie and black cargo pants that she seemed to prefer wearing against her Alliance uniform.

"I am sorry Commander, but you seemed to have melted part of the axel on Therum I was just trying to be useful and replace it before it goes out again."

"Is that a comment on my driving?"

"No Commander. Joker already warned the crew not to make any comments about your ability to drive the Mako."

"Did he now… I guess I will have to have a talk with him about that. Since you can't get away from me now I think I am going to order you to talk to me."

"Yes Commander. What would you like to know?"

"Garrus it Elika and if that is too informal for you, you can call me Shepard but no more Commander. Alright?" He still hadn't looked into her eyes since he stood up. She had never realized just how tall he really was. She liked having this Turian to watch her six. He was the best shot that she had seen in ages and she wasn't going to tell him that anytime soon. He was cocky around the others and also on the battlefield, keeping up easily with the banter between her and Kaidan. When she would try to include him in the mess or try to talk to her in the cargo bay he would become almost shy it was through her for a loop.

"Okay Shepard."

"Brilliant, so… do you have family anywhere and why did you decide to join up with me?"

"My family is on Palaven. My sister Solana lives with my mother and father in a large estate outside of the capital. Solana is a medic in the military. My father joined C-sec when he retired and my mother stays at home mainly she likes to teach still, when the opportunity arises."

"What does she teach?"

"Mostly hand to hand combat, she was the highest ranking hand to hand combatant in her platoon. She taught me everything I know, except my grandfather taught me my sniper skills."

"I am glad for that since I have been putting them to good use."

"You have. You seem to like to rush into the middle of the field and then spirits you go all biotic goddess on them."

"Biotic Goddess."

Garrus was stunned that he just said that out loud he just stood there rubbing his talons across the back of his fringe and shifting his massive weight from foot to foot. When he looked down he couldn't really decipher what the look was in her eyes and all he could stutter out was "well… um… you know what I mean."

"It is okay Garrus I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable but I do have a few requests now. I was hoping once we get to Pinacle Station which should take a few days if you could help out with some training. I want to get everyone combat ready and I think you weapon skills and now that I know you are excellent in hand to hand would help get a certain Assari and Quarian up to speed. Plus I could use some practice as well. I plan on handling the Biotics but I need someone with their head on straight to handle the others. I would have Ashley help out but she still has issues to deal with."

"It would be by pleasure Shepard to help out with the training. Just let me now the schedule."

"Thank you Garrus."

As she turned to head back to the lift he stopped her by saying her name and she looked over her shoulder at him "You now anytime you want to spar Wrex and I have already set up a make shift ring. It helps us in the stress department."

"I might take you up on that." Her hair flipped back over her shoulder when she turned back to the lift and he could smell the scent of a rare flower on Palaven one that his mother use to keep in pots in their home when he was growing up. According to the Assari it smelt like the berry found on earth called strawberries.

* * *

Joker was sitting in the mess just after his shift when he got a message ping on his Omni-tool to met El in her quarters. It was short and brief which usually meant he was in trouble. He knew that if he didn't get there soon it would be a lot worse. The door slide open when he touched the lit pad on the outside he had always had access to her quarters since they had become friends. He felt at times that he was her only family and in essence he was for the time being. She was sitting at her desk and if he didn't know any better he would say she was deep in thought about the debriefing paper work, but he knew better and once he heard "Fucking Alistair how did you get killed my a genlock." All bets were on that she was playing Dragon Age one of the few things she still had left of her dad.

"So who are you this time and how much trouble am I in?"

"Shhhhh… almost there… … … … … … yessss now time to raid the bodies then back to camp. Oh yeah sorry about that. First question elven rouge, second question depends…"

"Depends on what El?"

"What exactly was in the mass message about my driving?"

"Oh that," Joker said chuckling "I didn't actually say anything about your driving just sent a few video clips from a few of your more creative attempts to get places and told them to pray for their lives."

"Well that explains why Garrus and Wrex volunteered for the last mission and in the middle of it Garrus was mumbling "Spirits he was right" and Wrex just laughing."

"Well at least I didn't send the one with the Mako verses a Thresher Maw."

"Jeff lets not talk about that. Hey do you mind hanging out in her for awhile?"

"Shouldn't you be well sleeping? It is late by ship standards."

"I know but the dreams are back and last night I found Kaidan outside the door banging on it wondering what happened in here."

"Okay but I am not falling for that whole bed trick again. I maybe a good pillow and all but two cracked ribs are not fun and neither is your biotic wake up. I will take the couch which surprisingly looks more comfortable then the sleeper pods."

"Well about the couch I might have written off that purchase with a little bit of creative help by Chakwas as a therapeutic devise used in physical therapy to my Spectre account."

"You did what."

"Hey it has comfort adjustments settings for all species and a sonic massager. Plus it is bigger than the bed bay cots and the can hold a Krogan." Joker sat down on the couch and fell in love. It was more comfortable then the sleeper pods. He got up and headed towards her door. "Hey I thought you said you would stay?"

"I am but I am going to change and grab my blanket. You might not be able to get rid of me now." When he got back with said blanket in tow she couldn't help but laugh. The blanket was defiantly made by his mom it had spaceships and planes all over it.

"I wouldn't be laughing the last time I talked to my mom she decided to make you one now that you are a Spectre."

It was the first time in weeks that she actually slept through the night. The dreams from her past and the ones from the beacon were held at bay because her best friend was like a personal dream catcher.

* * *

Kaidan didn't like the fact that he saw Joker enter Shepard's cabin in his sleep pants and hoodie with a very colorful and loud looking blanket. She had made it clear that she didn't fraternize with subordinates, but there was Joker sleeping in her cabin. A few times when he was walking the ship at night because of his migraines he noticed her asleep with data pads in her lap in the co-pilots chair and Joker putting a blanket over her. He didn't know what it all meant but he wanted to because he couldn't help the way he felt about her. Jealousy was a dangerous thing and Joker was starting to bring it out in him.


	5. Chapter 5

It had taken a better part of two weeks to get to Pinnacle Station. They had stopped in a few systems to survey some planets for minerals and got side tracked helping a few people out and her favorite killing mercs. When she had got the invitation to train there from Admiral Ahern she was thrilled and she figured with her Spectre status she could get her squad in on the action. Wrex and Garrus were nipping at the bit for action and during those two weeks of travel she made sure one of them was on her team planet side to give the rest of the crew a break.

When they finally arrived she spoke with the Admiral and convinced him to let her squad have free reign of the combat simulator. Garrus and Wrex were in heaven. She had Kaidan help Liara with her combat skills figuring that they would have the most similar fighting styles. Her, Ashley and Tali decided to have a contest to see whose styles were better suited for what but both Ashley and Tali told Shepard it was not fair for her to use her Biotics because she was a one man wrecking crew. Some of the other soldiers that were training there decided to watch the completion.

By the third day there she had beaten every combat record and had even won an apartment on Intai'sei from Admiral Ahern. She decided that her squad could use a break from training and took them all planet side. She had Joker pilot a shuttle from the docks with her ground team while the rest of the crew stayed on board to resupply the Normandy. Shepard and the ground team plus Joker had ended up at a local tavern. Finding any excuse to not wear their uniforms she and Ashley decided to were civis. She had decided on a purple button up vest halter top and leather jacket along with her favorite ripped low riding jeans with her studded belt, her suspenders, which Joker always made fun of because she never actually used them just let them hang at her sides, and her combat boots. Ashley's outfit was something to drool over, a skin tight jean skirt and a tight white baby tee, her boots came up to just below the knee and all Shepard could do was not laugh at Joker who was practically drooling. Even before they left the ship the pair of them were turning heads from just about everyone. The one thing Shepard did do before they left was make Joker change from his "I am not a Doctor but I will take a look anyway" shirt into a button up black shirt that looked good with the dark jeans he had on and he simple refused to give up his hat.

* * *

The tavern had been packed. There were military personal from both the Alliance and the Hierarchy present. A couple of Krogan were hanging around a table in the back corner giving the group questionable looks but Shepard did not care she was determined to have some fun and the crew with her. They ended up sitting at a couple of tables near an open pool table and ordered a variety of drinks. Wrex was determined to see if Shepard could handle anything and dared her to try Rycnol. The night was going fine Ash was flirting with Joker, while she was trying to teach Tali and Liara Nine-Ball. The rest of the boys as she had dubbed them were sitting at the tables watching the game. Blue, green and pink drinks were disappearing at a staggering pace and everything was going fine.

"Hey LT I think you are admiring the view a little too much."Ashley had told Kaidan while Joker was heading over to see how Shepard was doing.

"Like you should be talking Chief I have seen the way you have been hanging all over Joker tonight." He couldn't help himself, he knew if he didn't watch himself he was going to say the wrong thing but it seemed that his brain and mouth were not connected during the next few minutes. "Why do you even bother he is obviously taken. He spends just about every night in the Commander's room and they are always together. The only time they aren't joined at the hip is on missions or when she is in the cargo bay chatting up Garrus and Wrex. What does she even see in him?" The look of hurt on Ashley's face made him know he had said something wrong and the way she stormed off to join the girls around the pool table and Joker confirmed it. "Ash I'm sorry"

Garrus watched their interaction with curiosity. He already knew of the close bond between Joker and Shepard, she had told him during one of their many chats that he was the first real friend that she had and that they were like brother and sister. He thought it strange that the Lieutenant did not know this.

Even though Shepard could tell something was bothering Ash when she had made her way over to them she did not push when Ash blew it off.

"Okay guys now for the real show," Shepard said as she bent over the table to line up the next shot. She knew it would only take her two more shots to clear the table of the final three balls. What she didn't realize that some of the locals at the other tables were watching the show as well.

One in guy had been watching her and the group for most of the night and between the liquor and the encouragement of his drunken friends he decided it was time to make his move. As Shepard was leaning over to make her final shot he came up behind her and touched her lower back. She tried to brush the incident off as accidental but when she stood up from winning the game he tried to grab her wrist to turn her around and that was where the night turned from fun to dangerous.

Garrus was watching the man that was approaching her and was beginning to feel a need to protect her and he didn't understand why. The moment he saw him reach for her he stood up abruptly and moved towards Sheppard but she had moved so fast that he almost didn't see it. There was the commander with one of her daggers at the man's throat and her knee on his chest as she pressed him down into the pool table. The rest of the crew had noticed the incident by now and were moving to surround her as the man's drunken friends were coming to his defense. The growl coming from Garrus' chest and the looming figure of Wrex detoured the men away from their commander.

"What the hell do you think you were doing? No one touches me without my permission unless they want to lose something of value to them."

"I am sorry I was just trying to have a little fun come on what so wrong with that?"

"First of all I am here with friends and second if I wanted to have fun with you and your friends I would have spoken to you instead of ignoring your comments which about an hour ago had gone past being lude."

"Shepard," Garrus had came up beside her and placed and armored hand onto her shoulder in the hopes of getting her attention. He had never seen her like this, during missions she was always calm and focused nothing broke through her calm façade, on the ship she was quiet at times but really opened up around many of her crew there was a fun mischievous side to her. He had even caught her trying to play a prank on Wrex on night when he was a sleep. But this was not like the Shepard he had come to know something was off about her and he wanted to find out what had caused the sudden change in her demeanor.

"El," Joker was cautiously approaching her other side with his hands up. "Elika look at me," he said once again while slowly reaching for the dagger, "do you really want to get blood on your clothes. You know how hard it is to get out. Plus Chakwas is not here to help fix everyone up if something should happen. So why not put SV away." Joker could see a small drop of blood running down the man's neck and when he looked into her eyes he saw the small shift in them. "Come on you don't want me to tell him that you got put in the brig for killing some drunk that had the nerve to try and touch the great Commander Shepard do you?" That was all it took she released the man and slipped her dagger back into her boot.

Garrus didn't even notice that she had come to the tavern armed with them and by the looks of the rest of the crew neither did them except for Joker. He was also curious of who this "him" that Joker referred to as he watched Shepard head for the bar.

El couldn't believe she had done that. She had lost control in front of her crew. Distant memories had been flooding back since before the beacon on Eden Prime and they had finally caught up to her. She decided that it was best to leave the tavern before to many questions were asked so she headed to the bar to pay the tab. She also picked up a few bottles of what everyone was drinking and the all left to return to her newly acquired apartment.

By the time the returned she had cooled off some but was in no mood for questions so she calmly excused herself to her room. They had originally decided that she and Ashley were going to share a room while Tali and Liara shared the second bed room. The boys were going to fend for themselves in the living are that had a few couches but she had made sure to have some cots put in the shuttle before they left the ship.

Ashley looked at Joker with concern before she asked "Is the Commander going to be alright?"

"Yeah what was that all about, I have never seen her act that way before." Kaidan had thrown in.

"She will be fine she just hasn't … never mind it is not for me to tell."

"So kid what is the story with those daggers. You have to know." Wrex asked.

"That is for me to know and you to find out. What I will tell you is that the white one she cares she calls Superstes Vitam and the black one is Interrit Morte. You guys can have fun figuring out what it means and you can ask her for the story." Joker looked around smugly. He knew that this crew was becoming extremely loyal to her quickly and he was the keeper to a lot of her secrets which he would die with if she asked.

Garrus looked around the room and noticed that everyone started to relax. The crew decided to let her be and enjoy the rest of the evening. Wrex told old war stories while Liara and Kaidan tried to pester Joker into giving them answers about the Commander. As the evening went on members of the team slowly passed out or called it a night. He had to help Tali get Liara and Ashley in to their room since she didn't want to disturb Shepard. Wrex had passed out on the balcony and he decided it was best to let the sleeping Krogan lie. Kaidan was passed out on one of the couches and that left the very sober Joker and himself awake.

"So Garrus…"

"Yes Joker"

"Nothing… so you I noticed that you sure don't drink as much as the rest of them well maybe except for Tali but she has the whole space suit thing going on."

"Neither do you."

"Yeah well alcohol and brittle bones don't mix. Plus Shepard would kill me if I got hurt because I passed out or tripped over my own two feet, but I think you are avoiding my question."

"I just see it as a tactical disadvantage" There was silence for a few minutes between them but then there was a small thud then a breaking sound coming from the Commander's room. Both he and Joker looked to her door and there was a blue light emanating from underneath it.

"Oh man, oh man, oh man this not going to be good. Shit." The look on Joker's face was one of fear and Garrus was puzzled.

"What is going on Joker?"

"Garrus I need your help and whatever you see in there you cannot tell anyone. Do you understand?"

"Joker what is going on?" Joker had moved him in front of him and pressed the door release. "Spirits Shepard." He was not prepared for what he saw. Shepard was lying on her bed in a pair of barley there tight shorts and a sports bra, her daggers still sheathed on her legs. All around her was uncontrolled biotic energy. Clothes, books and all sorts of objects were flying around the room while she was thrashing around on the bed still asleep.

"Garrus I need you to help her, please?"

All he could think of was how?


	6. Chapter 6

The evident fear and concern on Joker's face was all it took for Garrus to realize that there was a greater risk to Shepard than he had assumed. He was thankful that he was still in his armor and he even went to the length of raising his shields before he full entered her room. As he moved to her bed he was being bombarded by various objects he had to duck when pieces of her armor and come flying by. The biotic energy was the most intense energy he had ever felt, it was even stronger than a Matriarch's. Slowly he made his way over to her but he was not quick enough to escape damage to his fringe when her pistol had suddenly took flight. Her thrashing was getting more intense so he tried calling out her name in hopes that she would wake up but nothing seemed to be working. When he had reached her side he looked back at Joker who was hiding from flying debris by the door.

"What do I do?"

"Whatever you have to to wake her up!"

He leaned over her and tried to shake her awake "Commander…. Shepard!" the second he had touched her he had felt intense power radiate into him and then found himself on her bed underneath her with a daggers at his throat. Her eyes and skin radiated blue but it was slowly fading. The objects that were suspended or flying throughout the room came crashing down.

Joker saw Kaidan stirring and he knew that Elika would not want him to see her like this so he quickly entered the room and locked the door behind him.

Garrus was in shock, the commander was straddling him and it was causing curious feelings, some that were starting to form in areas that she was relatively close to. "Shepard its Garrus." She did not seem to recognize him and she was starting to press harder on the soft spots on his neck.

Joker moved as fast as he could trying to avoid falling and hurting himself on the clutter that covered the ground. He grabbed her and forced her to turn to look at him. "Elika it's me Jeff let Garrus go. I am here I am sorry I should have known. Please mo dheirfiúr…"

Garrus felt as the blades were removed from his throat, he moved his hands to her hips which caused her to jerk in surprise.

"Garrus, I am sorry." Realization of her predicament caused her to blush. She looked down and saw herself straddling him and the fact that she was wearing only her sports bra and boy short underwear caused the blush to venture from her face down her body. In her panic to get off him she fell over backwards and landed on her armor on the floor.

"Oh that is most defiantly going to leave a mark El. I would have to say pink looks good on you."

"Shut it Jeff."

"Sheppard are you okay?" Garrus said as he got off the bed and reached down to help her up.

"I am fine thanks Garrus … um… I am sorry for the inconvenience and everything but can you please leave."

He knew a dismissal when he heard one. He had hoped to get an explanation but it didn't seem as if he was going to get one tonight.

"Garrus wait I think I heard Kaidan stirring. Let me check first."

Garrus watched as Joker opened the door and went out. He left it open and he could hear him in the kitchen rummaging around in the fridge. He returned moments later with his blanket and a couple of bottles of water. As he handed one to Shepard he told Garrus that it was clear. Garrus decided not to push the subject for now but he was going to get answers. He would ask the next time that Shepard came to see him. He settled himself on the vacated couch after Joker had asked him to carry the extra cot into Shepard's room. He had watched as she cleaned an area for him to set the cot down in. when he left he asked Joker if she would be alright, all he got was I will take care of it. When he woke the next morning all evidence of the incident was gone and Shepard and Joker were there usual selves.

* * *

For the next few weeks while traveling to Feros to check out a report of Geth attacks at Zhu's Hope it seemed that Shepard went out of her way to avoid him. She didn't take him planet side on any of the surveying missions nor did she take him on the mission at Zhu's Hope. He had sent her a few messages via Omni-tool but no answers ever came back. He was starting to get frustrated. He needed to know what had happened and most of if she was truly alright. He had started to understand his feelings towards his human commander and they went beyond just simple attraction.

He had been listening in on the comm channels why Shepard was investigating Zhu's Hope. She had already cleared the geth out of the research faculty and was returning in the Mako to the colony. She was just chatting with Wrex and Kaidan trying to alleviate the silence he could tell.

"Hey Garrus could you come to the cockpit someone is banging on the airlock."

"I will be up there straight away Joker" by the time he had arrived it seemed that the colonist had gone crazy and there was a full fledge assault on the airlock doors.

"Commander could you hurry back the colonist seem to have lost their shit and are attacking the Normandy."

"We are on our way Joker. Hold the fort until we arrive."

"Sure thing Commander but you get to wash their grubby handprints off the hull and don't even tell me if they screw with my baby's paint job."

* * *

By the time she had gotten back to the Normandy she was covered in Thorian creeper goo and had a headache from letting the Asari download the Prothean cipher into her head. She was not in the mood to entertain questions from the looming Turian at the airlock. When she told Garrus not now she couldn't help but notice Kaidan's look of annoyance, she had been avoiding Garrus since the incident on Intai'sei. This caused her to spend more time with the rest of her crew including Kaidan who was not getting the hint of being only friends. Sure he was good looking but something about him just rubbed her the wrong way, she felt if he actually knew the real her he would dismiss his feelings for her and avoid her like the plague. She could say she honestly missed spending time talking with Garrus he was becoming a close friend he never pushed her for information about her past and she had even gotten him to play Dragon Age a couple of times. But she could not get up the courage to talk to him since he had seen her at her most vulnerable state. It had been a few hours since her shower and her headache was finally subsiding, but it was still early enough for people to be awake in the mess which meant she was going to hide in her room. Joker was still on shift for another few hours do to the fact that she wanted to make sure the colony was okay and running smoothly so she was lacking for company and after everything that had happened that day she knew sleep would not come easily.

An hour later she finally lost the battle of wills with her stomach. The growling and pains were becoming unbearable and she knew it was way past time to eat especially since she had already devoured her spare biotic ration bars that she kept in her room. She was in her N7 tank top and a pair of sleep pants that were a present that had fire breathing dragons all over them. She peered around the corner and the notice the mess was clear so she headed over to the fridges to see what she could make. She was a pretty decent cook and use to love to bake so being in the kitchen was second nature to her. She was so consumed with making herself food that she didn't even see Garrus approaching.

* * *

Garrus had had enough of waiting for Shepard to talk to him. He decided that he was going to wait her out. He knew that she would not come out of her room if anyone was in the mess, so when the last person left he had gotten up from his table and went to wait on the stairs to the CIC. He would be able to hear her when she left her room which he figured would be soon since he had not seen her eat dinner yet and no one had brought a plate to her like Joker usually did. So he was waiting for her to emerge from her sanctuary. It didn't take long, so he waited until she was too busy to notice him approach.

"Shepard we need to talk. You are not going to avoid me this time either. Spirits what is that?"

She had spun around so fast at the sound of her voice that she had almost dropped her plate. "Its Spicy Teriyaki Jambalaya, could we talk later I don't want my food to get cold." She never realized just how big he actually was he was at least a foot taller than her, his blue eyes seemed to hold her in her place and she couldn't move. "Fine follow me to my quarters and we can talk."

On instinct he took her plate just so she could not run and lock herself in trying to avoid him once again. The look she gave him when he held it above his head was one he had seen on wild varren. "Just a precaution so you don't try to run."

"Agghhh" it was as if he had read her mind. She sent a message to Joker to let him know what was up before she retreated to her room with Garrus in tow.

Upon entering her room he noticed it that it was spotless not a thing out of place. She had a sword from Earth over her bed and a small library of real books under the window. The couch he could tell was expense and probably did not originally come in the room and he figured this is where Joker slept when he stayed in the room. She had motioned to the couch for him to sit down and he placed the plate of her food in front of her.

"First I need to ask you for a favor Shepard and then I would like to know what happened on Intai'sai."

"Garrus you can call me Elika or even El if you want you have seen me at my worst so it is okay. So what is this favor you need?"

"Do you remember the case involving a salarian doctor I told you about, Dr. Saleon? Remember a few years ago, I was assigned to investigate black market trading on the Citadel, and found there was an increase in the sale of body parts. C-Sec was unsure whether it was a lab selling organs illegally, or if a psychopath was dismembering people, yet the situation turned out to be more complex than that. I ran a DNA check on a recovered Turian liver, only to find the supposed donor was very much alive and later I found that this Turian had worked for Dr. Saleon. I investigated Saleon's lab, but there was no sign of any cloned body parts nor the machinery to grow them; no salarian hearts, no turian livers, not one Krogan testicle. Running out of ideas, I brought in some of Saleon's employees for a "chat". During the interrogation, one interviewee began bleeding and the C-Sec medics found that he had fresh incisions all over his body. It turned out that Saleon was using his employees — who were usually poor and desperate as living test tubes: cloning their organs, growing them inside their own bodies, then removing and selling them, giving his employees a small percentage of the profits. If the organs failed to grow properly, Saleon would simply leave them inside the body, with dire consequences for the employees' health. C-Sec went to arrest Saleon, but, knowing his operation had been discovered, Saleon destroyed his lab, snatched some of his employees and fled the Citadel on his ship. I wanted the Citadel defense forces to shoot Saleon down, but C-Sec overrode my order since the vessel was too close to the station, and Saleon escaped. I found out he changed his name to Dr R. Heart, his idea of a joke, and bought the MSV Fedele to continue his research. Shep…Elika I found the transponder codes for Saleon's ship."

"What do you want to do about it Garrus?"

"I want him to pay for what he did will you help?"

"Send the codes to Joker I will inform him that we will go after him on our way to Noveria."

"I think Elika you owe me a story now."

"Garrus what do you know of my past?"


	7. Chapter 7

"I know only what is in your file and what I could access through C-sec. So basically public knowledge." He was not going to let her know that he had seen her with her brother unless she told him about him.

"Well I guess I should start from the beginning. I was born on earth. My father was a computer engineer and loved messing around with tech; it is probably where I got my obsession with tech and computer games. My mother was a childcare worker and also taught she actually ended up home schooling us kids. I grew up with my older sister and twin brother. She had found out my brother and I were biotics when she was pregnant. When we were three we had a really bad flare up at her work and my father decided it would be best for his family to move to Mindoir. Life on in the colony was great there was plenty of room to be ourselves. We lived on the outskirts my father kept writing computer and Omni-tool programs and our mother kept us busy with our studies. My brother's and my biotics grew stronger the seemed to feed off each other. There was no other biotics in the colony so we had to teach ourselves and our father tried his best to guide us and make us stronger. Our sister was jealous of our relationship, we were always together. When one of us was upset and our biotics would flare up it took the other one to calm us down."

He watched her tell her story she was currently flipping through images on her Omni-tool so fast that he couldn't even see them. He couldn't take his eyes off her, her whole face lite up when she was talking about her family and the Commander Shepard mask was lost. It seemed that she had finally found the image she was looking for.

"This was my family" she should him the image. It was a picture of a happy family standing outside of a small home. He easily identified her and her brother they were probably no older than eight or nine years old. There was a girl who easily was fifteen standing next to a woman with straight raven hair and brown eyes that and an older man that had the same eyes as her and her brother but his hair was a light brown and with streaks of grey. He could tell that their sister took after their mother but they were a perfect combination of both parents their mother's hair and their father's eyes. What he could figure out was what was being held in the twins combined hands.

"Elika what is that thing you guys are holding?"

"Oh that, well that is a hedgehog, our grandmother gave it to us a month before that picture was taken. We named him Fenris after a character in game that our dad modified for Omni-tools when he found an old copy in the attic of a house we lived in on earth. They are quite cute and cuddly in their own way."

"It looks to be cover in tiny spikes. I am not sure how you would consider that to be cuddly."

"Well Garrus the same could be said about you and at times I think that you might be cuddly."

He wasn't sure if she had meant what she said and it took him make for a minute. He was speechless; he had come to care a great deal about his commander. His commander yes in his mind that was what she was and one day he hoped to build up the courage to possibly act on the feeling that he had but tonight was not going to be that night. "Shepard … um …. How about you continue with the story."

"Okay Vakarian, it was probably five years after this picture was taken that some Alliance officers had come to the colony trying to get our parents to send us to some school for Biotics. My brother and I found the recruiter fascinating. He was surprised with the strength of our abilities especially when he found out that neither of us had amps. They stayed for a week testing us and they came to the conclusion that we were a force to be reckoned with as long as we were together. When we were testing apart we were still very strong but when my brother got scared he would flare up out of control and no one could calm him down except me and at times my emotions caused me to flare up as well but I had slightly more control than him. They tried to convince our parents to send us away for our own good and that the Alliance would take care of us and we would become officers. My father thought something was off and just didn't feel right about the whole situation and sent them away. I am kinda glad he did because the facility was shut down after some scandal a few months later. Two years later the Batarians attacked Mindoir. My brother and I had just turned fifteen. We were playing with our niece and nephew in the fields around the house when the attack occurred they were three and four. My mother was coming back from the village with my sister and her husband. My father was in the house working on some new tech. The ships… the ships came from the sky and destruction began to rain down upon the colony. I saw my mother and sister running towards us… Joey my sister's husband stayed in the village trying to help. Elissa and William were clinging to me but when they saw their mom they ran towards her." Tears were starting to run down her face and her body was shaking all he could thing to do was wrap an arm around her and pull her in close so she knew that someone was there for her as she lost herself to her memories. "A group of Batarians came out of now where and I watched as incinerator rounds took my family down. My father came out of the house and told me to run… run and find your brother. We were stronger together and I can only hope that was the reason why he told me to run. I can still remember the smell of my family burning on the sound of gunfire. I ran… I ran as fast as I could to my brother's favorite hiding spot when I felt pain a sharp pain in my leg. The shot from the batarians gun didn't even register in my mind; I just needed to find him. When I came upon the grove and saw the bloody drag marks from under the fallen log heading back towards the colony's town center I panicked. I didn't hear them until I was surrounded by three batarian slavers. I can still smell the blood that clung to their armor and the things that they were saying they were going to do to me. The vile ways the planed on breaking me in when I saw the look into their eyes and I felt one of their hands on my shoulder I felt true fear for the first time. After that moment all I can remember is the smell of eezo and a flash of blinding blue and white light…"

He was glad that she didn't look up at him, because the anger in his eyes and on his face he was sure would make him look feral. It took all his will to keep from growling and pulling her into his lap to protect her. The protective instinct was trying to take over and he was starting to fight a losing battle in his head.

"I am not sure how long I was out but when I walk up it was to the shouting of humans. "We have an alive one" was that was said before a group of soldiers surrounded me. I instantly threw up a barrier and the closest soldiers jumped back a ways from me. The grove was covered in what I can now only assume was the remains of my attackers and the scorch marks from my biotics. Trees had been toppled over and I was lying in a small crater. It was Anderson that approached me, he was a commander at the time and leading a group of N7's trying to figure out what happened to the colony, it took almost an hour to get me to lower that barrier. To say he was impressed with me was an understatement. The batarians had taken or killed everyone but me and a couple that had been on the other side of the planet doing some surveying. I dint talk to anyone for nearly month, the only reason the Anderson found out my name was due to the fact that he tried to get the couple to take care of me and they didn't want anything to do with me. He had asked why and they said that they didn't want to take care of a biotic and especially one that just lost her whole family including her twin. There was no one left for me to go to, my grandmother had passed away so they took me to Earth to an Alliance training school. The school didn't know what to do with me; my Biotics were under control but the first two amps they tried with me I burnt out within my first few training sessions. The school work was a joke I had surpassed all of my classmates and the upperclassmen due to my mother homeschooling us kids. I spent almost a year there training taking college classes over the net and hanging out in the tech labs to keep busy. Anderson would visit when he was on leave; they had him listed as my legal guardian which ended up being my saving grace. It was a few months after my sixteenth birthday when he came with a recruitment officer and Rear Admiral Steven Hackett. They decided due to my circumstances and academic accomplishments that if I wanted I could join the Alliance right then and there, and I accepted in less than five minutes." She had stopped crying and had moved out of his arms.

Garrus was unaware of her looking at him but he was thankful that his steady breathing had allowed him to calm the anger inside of him when he finally looked down at her. She was a strong woman that had survived the loss of her entire family. She continued to amaze him.

"Elika …"

"It's alright Garrus… everything that has happened has made me stronger. I survived Akuze and killed a Thresher Maw because of everything in my past. I met Joker during my N7 training when they realized it was next to hopeless trying to get me to learn how to fly a shuttle because all of the teachers were frighten when my biotics would flare up. He helped me get through the trauma from Akuze along with Anderson, and when…when they found my brother alive in a slaver camp he was there for me again. The him that Joker refers to is Braven my brother you are the first person besides Joker and Anderson that I have told about him. I am sure some of the Alliance brass knows about him but he was listed as dead so he is not in my file and I wanted to keep it that way to protect him. He was in a psyc-ward for a few years and now he is at an academy that focuses on training biotics."

"Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me all of this but I am still a bit confused about what happened in your room?"

"My biotics use to flare out of control when I had nightmares of my past. Reliving what happen every night to its toll on me. Throwing myself into work was the only thing that kept it at bay until I meet Joker and was finally able to talk to someone about what had happened. Something happened on Eden Prime with the beacon and the nightmares have gotten worse they are mixed in with the visions from the beacon of death and blood, having someone around seems to keep them at bay. That is why Joker stays here with me, and the dreams were getting better because of his constant presents. That night when that guy grabbed me everything came crashing forward. You are the first person that has been able to get through to me when I was like that. Everyone else who has tried usually found their way into the med bay. I think my subconscious knows when Joker is around and that I don't want to hurt him like the first time when he ended up with two broken ribs, a concussion, and a broken arm, so I don't flare up nearly like I did on Intai'sei. Thank you Garrus I could have done a lot of damage if it wasn't for you." With that said she leaned over to him and wrapped her arms around him. "You have become a true friend. You have seen me at my worst and I avoided you because I was afraid that you thought less of me and even worse feared me."

"I don't think anything less of you. You are one of the strongest women that I know. What you have overcome is… spirits it's just amazing. You're the first human Spectre and the Council has sent you after a rouge Spectre that is spent on the destruction of the Galaxy even if they won't see it. Elika any other person would have broke by now and you haven't. I will always be here for you guarding your six and however else you may need me."

"Wow Garrus that is a damn good pep talk, but you left the end up for some intriguing interpretation "however else you may need me" I could think of some very creative ways that I may need you."

He was shocked and she could see it all over his face. His mandibles were even trembling and this just made her start to laugh, he stood up so fast that she was almost knocked off the couch."

"I… a… I think I should head back to the cargo bay. Goodnight Shepard."

She watched him turn towards the door and just before it closed she yelled out "You are kinda cuddly Vakarian."


	8. Chapter 8

He had finally gotten off his shift and was just stepping out of the elevator when heard Shepard's door open he even heard he parting comment to Garrus which had him chuckling, but the sight of him frozen at the door and Kaidan sitting in the mess was enough to get him laughing so hard his sides ached. He watched as Garrus surveyed his surroundings and bolted to the elevator.

"Joker got a minute?"

"Depends Alenko on if you can talk while I grab some grub?"

"Yeah, I was hoping you could tell me what is going on between the two of them. Shepard already told me that you are like her big brother, but something has been off between those two for awhile know I feel that it might compromise the mission."

Joker was glad that his head was in the fridge at the time because his face would have given everything away that he was pretty sure that the two in question hadn't even realized yet. "Alenko not that it is any of your business and all but they had a fight over some game that they were playing and El was holding a grudge and wouldn't talk to him when he needs her help with tracking down this mad scientist dude. Which is where we are heading next then on to Noveria." He said as he was pulling out a plate with his name on it. When he saw Kaidan's face he couldn't keep quite any more. "For fuck's sake she will never break regs and she obviously doesn't like you the way that you like her so stand down soldier before you do something you regret. Yeah she comes by to talk to you she does that with everyone it is just who she is, but don't think it is anything special. Trust me I know and lately you are starting to make her uncomfortable so back off some."

To say Kaidan looked piss was an understatement Joker was not sure if he should retreat to his room or just take up a bed in med bay because he was sure he was going to end up there anyway.

"What do you know Joker? You may be like a brother to her but I bet your just jealous because there is no way you could win her without breaking yourself." A blue biotic sheen had began to cover his skin and Joker was becoming more worried he sure wished Elika would come out of her room and help him because he wasn't sure what to do at the moment. "Shepard is an amazing women everything she has done and everything she has accomplished she deserves someone that can appreciate her and love her, not someone who is constantly making jokes and defiantly not someone like him."

"You don't even know the real her Kaidan that's you problem. You have put her so fucking high on a pedestal that you can't even see when she is trying to just be your friend because that is all she thinks of you and you are pushing the limits even on that lately. Ask yourself what do you know of her past of her family, what do you know that isn't in her Alliance file? Then maybe you will see that she doesn't want to be on that pedestal and you are only leading yourself down a flight path of disappointment. This is my final warning Kaidan leave her be, and just be her friend."

* * *

He couldn't fall asleep everything she had told him was running through his mind and on top of that she called him cuddly, him Garrus Vakarian the stylish handsome and at times cocky turian cuddly. He knew Joker heard and he hoped that the spirits would cause him to forget or at least never to repeat her statement to anyone. Cuddly.

* * *

She had told him to back down; she had to remind him that no one knows what he's been up to. The squad will take him back, turn him over to the military, and get some answers she had said. At first I objected, and then I can see the reasons why. I tell Saleon that he is one very lucky salarian. Then what does Saleon do he thanks us in a sarcastic tone, then pulls his gun and ends up dead any way. The ship was full of his experiments and Joker's comments about mad scientists ran through his head. There had been so many different shades of blood green, yellow, blue and even some dark red covering the walls like some sick version of art. It had been worse than he could imagine and the looks on both Wrex and Shepard's faces confirmed that they had felt the same way about stopping Saleon and that they would not lose sleep over being forced to kill the sadistic bastard.

When they had returned to the Normandy, Elika had searched him out hoping to talk but he was so angry with himself over losing Saleon the first time that he snaps at her and brushes her off. Before she can reach the elevators he calls out to her. "Shep… Elika I'm sorry. I am not upset with you I am just mad at myself. I need some time before I can talk about it."

"Well Garrus, we can talk when you're ready but you better have a clear head by the time we reach Noveria. You are coming with Liara and I planet side. I hear that it is basically a corporation run planet and you never know what you may find down there."

"I will meet you at the airlock."

* * *

She couldn't believe what had happened so far on Noveria. It took an Internal Affairs agent and some political bullshit maneuvering just to get to the research station that Benezia was at. Upon hearing that she was actually there she decided that Kaidan should come with them in case it was too much for Liara to face her mother and having an extra Biotic to face a squad of Assari commandos had sounded like a good idea at the time. By the time they reached the tram she knew that the boiling point of one of her crew had been reached and he was going to explode.

"What were you thinking releasing the Rachni Queen Commander? The devastation that happened to the galaxy during the wars and now with the Reaper threat at hand you just release her."

"Enough Lieutenant, you are out of line. It was my call she could me an incredible ally in the fight to come and I will not be the cause of the destruction of an entire race. You have no idea what she has been through losing her entire family and knowing that the others are being tortured and used against their will. It falls on me if she betrays us and me alone so stand down. No one and I mean no one," as she turned away from Kaidan to look at Garrus "is going to tell Wrex about this until I do understand."

"Yes Commander."

The fight with Benezia had taken a toll on her body as well on her mind Liara had pleaded with her to end her mother's life when she had asked because as much as her mother wasn't there for her she was still her mother and she couldn't bring herself to do it. Liara was slouched in a corner of the tram silent tears running down her face as much as she wanted to go to her she couldn't. Memories were seeping into her head and it was taking all her will to hold them back. She noticed Kaidan had gone to the other end of the tram and was pacing back and forth and she did not have the patience to deal with him right now. Garrus was trying to calm Liara down but was getting no response. She moved to the center row of seats and sat down pulled her knees into her chest and waited. It was a few moments later that she felt a presence at her six and she knew without words who was sitting directly behind her so she leaned back and rested her head on his armor. He didn't say anything but she could feel slight vibrations through his armor and could hear a slight cooing sound that felt as if it should be calming in which it was.

Garrus sat there letting his sub-harmonics wash over her in an attempt to calm her down. The words that she had thrown at Alenko had made him think of their conversation in her quarters and he knew she needed someone to help her through this and he was the only one present that knew so he hoped she would understand. He did not expect her to lean back into him but when she did he knew he had done something right. Alenko kept throwing them looks but it did not matter because it was something that anyone would think as completely innocent because his commander was only leaning her head on his back nothing else. But that gesture seemed to irritate Alenko and at the moment he didn't care because he was giving her his strength to lean on and comforting her at the same time. He had once told her that he would always watch her six in one of their many conversations and right now he was doing just that.

* * *

"Joker take us back to the Citadel!" She yelled as she got out of the airlock she didn't even wait for a response. She headed straight to the med bay, by passing the elevator and running down the stairs. Chakwas was in a fit by the time she left the med bay she had refused to be checked out and insisted that all she needed was some med gel. She almost took Engineer Adams out crossing threw the mess to her quarters but Wrex had seen her storming out of the med bay and grabbed him before he fell to the ground. When she got to her quarters she locked her door and placed an eighteen level encryption program on the lock so no one could get in. it would take Garrus and Tali at least three hours to break it and by that time she would have just set something else up to block it. She could feel mass effect fields all around her and her biotics were screaming at her but she was still in control. To say she was pissed was an understatement. When the tram had stopped and they were on their way back to the Normandy Kaidan would not let up on his persistent need for her to talk to him. Garrus had silently stepped in between them and Liara was already on her other side walking in utter silence. She knew what the young Assari was going through she could feel the grief radiating of her. Kaidan's constant demands had pushed her to her limit by the time they reached the airlocks. She needed to be alone, she needed space, by the void she needed off this damn ship and the only place she could think of at the time was her condo on the Citadel. Only three people besides herself knew about it and only one of them had ever been there. It was her sanctuary and she needed that right now.

* * *

"What the hell happened Garrus?"

"I will tell you happened, the Commander refused to see reason and choice to make a possible detrimental to the galaxy decision and when I tried to ask her about it she went off on some tangent and refuses to even speak to me about it. Liara is upset because she had to watch Shepard kill her mother and Liara refuses to talk to anyone at this time." With that said Kaidan walked through CIC to the elevator and disappeared into the depths of the ship.

"Okay Garrus what really happened? Did she really kill Liara's mom?"

"Yes but Liara begged her to do it and don't tell Elika that I sent you this but here is what really happened between the Lieutenant and her." Garrus sent the vid to Joker's Omni-tool and waited for his reaction as Joker watched the vid. He also decided to tell Tali and Ashley what had happened with Liara in hopes that one of them might be able to help her through this since he was pretty sure Shepard wasn't going to be able to help.

"Shit, shit, shit what the hell is that guy's problem. He can't even get a hint that she doesn't like him and now this."

"Well in his defense he doesn't know about her past, but I am defiantly not defending him. To make matters worse she wouldn't talk to him but I think he saw her relax some when she leaned up against me on the tram."

"So you are cuddly."

"If you value your limbs I would stop right there, and it was her head on my back because I was sitting behind her. I knew she needed someone and you weren't there so I filled in for you."

"Trust me Garrus you filled in for no one, she trusts you and she would have never relaxed if she didn't need you right then." He watched as Garrus started to rub the back of his fringe and pace side to side then abruptly turned and walked through the CIC. _Man he has got it bad for her and I am not sure he knows it yet. I hope they realize that they are good for each other sooner rather than later._ Joker thought to himself.

* * *

** Sorry about taking so long to post new chapters, but life happens. Hope you enjoyed this so far I will try to be better at updating.  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**I hope you guys enjoy this any feedback is more than welcome actually encouraged at this point because I am bit stuck. I made the mistake of writing chapters from ME2 before finishing ME1. dumb me oh well enjoy.**

* * *

The crew was getting worried, they hadn't seen the Commander in days. Joker and Garrus had tried to keep watch over her quarters at first but decided it was futile because they never saw her emerge. By the second day of her self imposed exile Joker had Garrus and Tali try to bypass the lock on her door. After two hours of trying all three of their Omni-tools were pinged with a message that simple stated give up. They sent her messages but she did not answer them and if it wasn't for Garrus and Wrex's hearing they wouldn't have known that she was still alive. The Normandy was going to be docking with the Citadel in a few hours and the entire crew received a message from their commander that they would have a few days shore leave but to be prepared to leave within an hours notice if necessary.

"Garrus what do you make of this?"

"Well I am guessing she is trying to clear the ship before she emerges from her exile. I sent a message to Captain Anderson to meet us here to try and get her out of her room. I think she has been using the ducts to get around. Wrex keeps hearing noises from them and your requisitions officer said there was some missing biotic rations from the food storage."

"Well at least we know she has been eating. How long until we dock?"

"About an hour, you going to stay here and watch her cabin?"

"I am worried about her."

"We all are. Tali, Ashley and Liara will probably be here soon to wait it out with you I have to go pilot my baby."

* * *

She heard the announcement that they would be docking in ten minutes so she got ready to disappear. She had on jeans and a t-shirt she even went as far as throwing her hair up into a cap and putting on one of Joker's hoodies that he had left in her room. She didn't want to be caught and after the second day of crawling thru the ducts and Wrex simply stating "I can smell you Shepard but I will keep your secret" she hoped the smell would throw them off. She even went as far as writing a program to unlock her door after the VI announced her departure. By the time that she reached the hatch in front of the airlocks they were finalizing docking. She pulled the hood up over her head and waited for the airlock to open and she was gone before the VI could finish "Logged: Commanding officer is ashore XO Pressely has the deck"

* * *

Garrus had been leaning on the bulkhead outside of her quarters while the rest of the ground crew except for Kaidan were in the mess waiting for Joker to dock the ship. When the VI had announced that she was ashore he could hear chairs falling and being moved in the mess. He looked at her door and saw the lock go from red to green.

"Joker did you see her leave?" he asked over the comm.

"No, what the shit is going on Garrus. Captain Anderson is requesting permission to board and she is just gone. Pressely is up here pacing circles in the CIC since you asked him here I am sending Anderson to you. Good Luck."

It was only a few minutes before the elevator doors open and he could her Pressely and Anderson arguing.

"Officer Vakarian, what is going on here? You asked me to talk to Shepard and she is not even here."

"Captain Anderson I will try to fill you in on the situation but I feel that it would be best if I did so in private." He said as he looked at the rest of the ground crew that was still in the mess.

"Alright Vakarian follow me," and with that he followed Anderson of the ship.

* * *

By the time she reached her condo she was disappointed in herself. She had run from her problems instead of facing which was something she had never done. The condo was in a building that was owned by an Assari named Shailan in the Bachjret Ward. Shailan rented out the other units but after some clever negotiating had allowed her to lease the top floor of the building for the next eighty years, so it felt as if she owned the place. The money that she inherited from her family on her eighteenth birthday was a staggering amount. It was more than enough for her place and she set up a trust fund for her brother once he was found, he would want for nothing and be taken care of if something should happen to her. She had never known how many patents her dad actually had while living on Mindoir, she knew they were well off but not exactly how well off. She took some of the money and invested it in to her sanctuary by remodeling the two units that consisted of the top floor, first by knocking down walls to join the two together. She then remodeled the first unit by turning one of the bedrooms into a tech lab and office and the other bedroom into a guest room. The kitchen was gutted and combined with the living space into a gym. The other unit she left alone using one bedroom as her own and the other for her brother in hopes one day that they would be here together. Since each bedroom had its one private bathroom the extra bathroom in the first until got turned into a sauna.

Upon entering her condo she noticed a note from Shailan on the fridge saying it was stocked and that she was going to Thessia for a few weeks and would be able to see her. The Assari had become a friend of sorts but to her she was more of a mother figure. Whenever she was home Shailan would check up on her and when she was gone she would take care of the place for her. Elika went straight to her room and threw of her clothes then she was digging through her drawers pulling out her work out equipment and went to her private gym in hopes of clearing her mind. It was hours later when she heard the ping of the door and someone requesting entry to her home so she pulled herself of the couch to answer it. She didn't even look up to see who it was she just opened it to let the person in since only one other person knew where it was, so she was surprised when she heard Garrus's voice.

"Elika can I come in?"

"How did you find this place?"

"Anderson told me where to find you. Joker forgot this place even existed so he didn't think of looking for you here and he didn't know where here was."

"So why did he send you?"

"He sent me because he thought you could use a friend and he couldn't come because he is trying to fix the mess you put yourself in. Spirits Elika you had me… you had us all worried. Anderson is trying to piece everything together and is sending the information to the council. Kaidan was reprimanded by him and Pressely over his actions on Noveria. Wrex was pissed because you got off the ship without him knowing which lead to him telling us that you had been using the ducts like some duct rat. It took Ashley and Tali two days to get Liara to talk and well Joker well he… he blamed himself for the most part just as I have. What were you thinking locking yourself in your room like some child? You are there for everyone else. You helped Tali with her pilgrimage, you got Wrex his father's armor, you saved Liara the pain of killing her own mother and took it upon yourself and you even helped me. Spirits when are you going to let someone help you? I know that speech you gave to Kaidan hit way to close to home, but both Joker and I could have helped you thru it if you would let us."It all just spilled out of him he was angry and hurt that she would not let him help her.

"I'm sorry," she yelled back. Her next words came out only above a whisper, "I don't know how to ask for help. Joker has just always been there. I feel like a coward for running away… I am not good at letting people get close. People tend to die around me and I carry every single one of them with me that is what the wings on my back are for and the feathers all represent the people that I have lost or died so I could survive. Garrus I can't forgive myself for killing Benezia, I am just as bad as the Batarians that killed my mother in front of me."

He could see tears running down her face and it was all it took for him to walk over to her and wrap his arms around her and lead her over to the couch. "It's not your fault. Elika we are at war and most importantly Liara does not blame you if you would have check your messages you would have known that she thanks you for doing what she could not. Her mother had not been a mother to her for a long time and she is glad that Saren no longer has his grasps on her. Liara loves you like a sister and what I don't think you realize is that you have turned your crew into a family. We would do anything you asked of us."

As he spoke she began to relax pulling her knees up onto the couch and leaned into him. The warmth of his body brought comfort to her and in the back of her mind she could her Joker's constant prattle that maybe she was blind to the good things around her. Silence began to engulf the room all she could hear was the trilling sound that she related to his sub-harmonics. She had finally noticed that he was not wearing his armor but civilian clothes.

"I didn't think you owned any of these," as she pointed to his clothes.

"Sorry to disappoint you since I know how you love me in my armor," he said hoping to receive a laugh which he did, "but I wouldn't be the one talking about clothes. What exactly are those things on your pants?"

She hadn't realized at first what she was wearing and now that he had pointed it out she really wished that she had changed before answering the door. The silk pajama pants she had on where covered in Chinese Dragons and the black tank top she had on showed off a inch or so of her stomach which she caught Garrus staring at.

"They are dragons, but since you are here I probably should change. I would offer you something to eat or drink but everything in the fridge would probably kill you, unless you want water." She replied as she began to pull away from him. She felt his warmth leave her as she began to stand up and started to regret her decision of moving. He had been a constant presence the last few months and he treated her like a real person not someone that was on an unobtainable pedestal. Their constant banter on missions kept her calm and she loved the way that she could easily unnerve him by turning his own words upon him. She had seen him keep a constant vigil at her door the last few days and he came here to find her, maybe he really did care. He was her best friend next to Joker and she always felt safe in his presence maybe there was something more and she was too blind to see it she thought as she walked to her room to change.

He sat on the couch cursing himself in his head. If he hadn't pointed out her pants maybe she would be sitting next to him still in his arms. Anderson was right, she needed someone so he had sent him here to make sure she was okay. He had told Anderson that Joker should go but Joker had said that he had to take care of the ship and that it would be better if he went. Anderson's expression of concern and shock did not go unnoticed to Garrus, years at C-Sec had gave him the ability to read human body language but the one he couldn't get a read on was the girl in the room next door. He knew he cared about her but how much he still was not sure.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hope you guys like this sorry for being so late on it I am trying to get better. Thanks for following and I look forward to any input you guys have.**

Garrus had been sitting for a few minutes and he could hear her moving around in her room but she had yet to return. Curiosity was getting the better of him so he stood and started to survey his surroundings. He could tell that the place had a lot of remodeling done he apartment occupied the entire top floor and it suited her very well. Her private gym was well equipped and he could tell that her punching bag got the most use out of everything in it. He saw that she had an office and it looked to be the only room in the place that was a mess, it was covered in different pieces of tech and the wall of weapons was very impressive. The room next to her office appeared to be an unused bedroom so he walked back over to the living area to look at the impressive collection of real books that she had. There were many books from earth but there was also a few Turian and a few Assari books as well. In the empty spaces on the shelves there were holo pictures of her family and of some alliance soldiers, on picture in particular caught his attention it was of her sitting next to a young man that looked a lot like and they were sitting in a forest glade.

"That was taken on Mindoir two years ago. Braven wanted to go home and confront our past so we could move on. It was the first time I had set foot on that planet since the attack. It was good for both of us, it was painful and the dreams it brought back took weeks to subside but he was there for me as I was there for him. I miss him, he followed in my footsteps he joined the Alliance a few months after this. We rarely see each other now and when we do it is only for a few days at a time. I do know one thing he tries to hide it but he spends a lot of time here when I am not here. I don't even think Shailan knows when he shows up here, but some of his stuff was moved around in his room and once again he stole it."

"Stole what?" he hadn't even noticed when she had come out of her room. When he turned to look at her he noticed that she had pulled her hair up into a ponytail and had changed into some jeans with her famous suspenders and her N7 hoodie.

"Oh nothing ."

"If it was nothing you wouldn't have mention it. So what did he steal from you?"

"Well I wouldn't really call it stealing more of retaliation. He took Bashful my teddy bear, we found him in our old house on Mindoir, he survived somehow. I kinda stole it from him when we were younger and I never slept a night without it until after the attack, I think he took it because it reminds him of me and I kinda had it altered. Most of the time I keep him with me but I accidently left him here before this last mission."

"A teddy bear, those furry squishy things children carry around? How did you have it altered anyway?"

"Yes a teddy bear and for the altering, well I kinda made this tech thing that is weird if you think about it but if you aren't a twin you might not understand. I put a bio-link in it so when I sleep I can hear Braven's heart beat it keeps me calm and helps with the dreams that's why I have been having some troubles sleeping. He has one of mine but it is easily concealed. The docs that treated him had me make one up for him as a trial thing to see if it would help with some of the trauma that he went through. We were always together growing up and most of the time we slept in the same room. We were so close and being twins and our biotics kinda linked us I guess. I know we are more powerful together then when we are apart and our biotics almost seem to sync up, I know more than one person who wants to study us."

" I don't think I want to even know what you two would be like on a battle field. I can understand the bio-link thing but I do have to say the teddy bear thing is cute." At that moment he heard Shepard's stomach growl and began to chuckle a bit. "I think it is time to get you something to eat before that threatening sound your stomach makes becomes loud enough to scare Wrex."

"Hey I have heard your growl and it is just as bad."

"Yeah but mine is not from lack of food. So come on I am buying."

They left her place and went to the Zakera Ward. He knew of a place that he had been wanting to try ever since he found out it had one of her favorite foods and it was both Dextro and Levo friendly. He lead her to the restaurant and he heard something of a squeak when she had read the sign.

"Mario's how did you know?"

"Well I have heard about his place back in C-Sec and since you did mention pizza is one of your favorite things I figured this might help to cheer you up."

"Thanks Garrus." Without any thought she rose up and kissed him on the mandible. The look of shock on Garrus's face made her blush and rush inside the restaurant.

If a Turian could blush he was pretty sure he would be at that point in time his fringe had started t throb in that oh so good way and he had to take a moment to compose himself before following her in. They were escorted to their table and given menus to look over.

"Okay I know you are buying and all but you have seen me eat before."

"I know plus I was kinda hoping I could try whatever you order."

"That's fine since I tend to order the meat lovers with jalapeños. But are you sure can you even eat levo foods."

"Yeah I can, I found out before I left the citadel just in case something happened like being stranded or supplies were running low."

The waitress returned and took their order. Shepard ordered a Krogan size meat lover and jalapeno pizza and Garrus ordered a Turian dish that she thought looked similar to spaghetti but with all kinds of meat in it. It wasn't long until she returned with their order and Garrus's omni-tool pinged.

"Aghh Elika I think that we are going to have to box all of this stuff up, check your omni-tool." He signaled the waitress over and asked her to box everything up and charge everything to his credit-chit while she turned on her omni-tool and checked her messages.

She had an urgent message from the council. It seemed a salarian reconnaissance team on Virmire has information about Saren and the Council fears the team is in danger because of an unclear message they received from the ground team. "Well looks like we are heading back to the ship." She then got Pressly on the comm to give a ship wide alert and recall everyone back from shore leave because they would be leaving in an hour and a half for Virmire.

"El what is Garrus carrying?"

"That would be our dinner, why are you hungry Joker?"

"It smells like pizza. Please tell me it is pizza and that you are going to share, please?"

"Well Garrus what do you think should we share?"

"Mario's has been known to deliver to the higher ups and with your Spectre status you could just order a few more and get them delivered here. They say 30 minutes or less and we have about an hour before your dead line and you did cut shore leave so…"

"Okay I get it guys I will order pizza for the crew you pick something out for Tali. How about we take our dinner to my quarters so we can eat undisturbed, I don't share well with others."

"That's an understatement. Be careful Garrus she once stabbed me with a fork for trying to steal some of her fries."

"I think I can handle it."

"Joker here is my credit-chit to pay for the food it should be here shortly and just have whoever bring it down to the mess and there is more than enough for everyone. You might need two or three people to bring it down there should be forty-five pizzas coming two of each kind and five extra meat lovers all of them Krogan sized so we should be good. See ya later." She turned and grabbed Garrus's arm and hurried through CIC down the stairs to her quarters. "Hah no one caught us."

"You feeling okay Elika?"

"Yeah I just don't want to share and I kinda want to eat this while it is still warm. Something about this next mission feels off a bit."

"Well go with your instincts they haven't lead you wrong yet. So lets eat and how about we watch a vid. Joker will let us know when we are departing then you can debrief the rest of the ground crew, we have sometime until then it takes about 2 days to get to Virmire."

"Your right it's time to relax a bit. So what should we watch?"

* * *

"Joker what is all of this in the mess?" asked Kaidan while he watched Joker shoving his face full of pizza and Ashley sitting next to him doing the same.

"Commander Shepard ordered pizza for everyone as an apology for cutting shore leave. Tali's is in the fridge for her and it has been made Quarian safe. There is more than enough for the whole crew and I believe we already marked two of the pizzas for Wrex. She also does not want to be disturbed for a while so save the thanks for later."

"I guess that means I should just dig in"

"Wow LT is that a smile, haven't seen one of those from you in a while."

"Just don't tell her that I pinged Mario's back and added a few orders of wings. I did put El's volcano wings in the fridge with an eat and die by Shepard's hand note on top so I hope everyone gets the message, for their own safety."

"Wait a minute she paid for all of this?" Kaidan asked Joker.

"Yeah of course, what you think she charged all of this to the Alliance or the Council she is not stupid."

"But how, she can't make much more than us it is the military."

"LT do you really not know anything about her that isn't in her file, you follow her around like some lost puppy and put her on a pedestal we all see it. I even know about her family and who her dad was."

"I think you're out of line Chief."

"Look LT her dad was a huge tech wiz and after Mindoir she got everything because there was no family left. Half of the stuff she gets for us comes from her personal account she wants us to have the best. Look the only real reason I know any of this because I asked when she gave me my HMWP Master Pistol IX how she could afford it. Do you also know that she hustles pool when we are docked and she goes to a tavern with us or that she has Joker take bets on her in some underground biotic gym fights. She is human just like the rest of us. "

"How do you know all of this did Joker tell you?"

"Don't look at me Kaidan El told her that stuff on her own. I keep my secrets I am breakable, Ash on the other hand is more durable than I am so she is the only one to blame for that intel. Why don't you just sit and eat before it gets cold."

"Alright fine I will drop this for now."


	11. Chapter 11

They were on the way to the AA tower to help Ash. Garrus was on her six and Wrex was in the lead knocking back the remainder of the Krogan slaves as he called them when Ash came over the comm.

"LT we spotted a troop ship inbound to your location"

"It's already here and it's bleeding geth all over the bomb site."

"Can you hold them off?"

"There is to many Commander I don't think we can hold them… I'm activating the nuke."

"What are you doing Lieutenant?"

"Making dure this bomb goes off no matter what. Its done Commander go get the Chief and get the hell out of here.."

"Belay that we can handle ourselves. Go back and get Alenko"

She could feel Garrus and Wrex's eyes on her as she paced back and forth she had to make the call…

"Alenko radio Joker and tell him to meet us at the bomb site"

"Yes Commander. I…"

"You know it's the right choice LT."

"Ash, stay alive I'll be coming to get you too…"

"I think we both know that's not going to happen El… tell Joker I'm sorry…."

All that was left was the sound of fire fight then static.

After the confrontation with Saren Garrus and Wrex had to pull her back on to the ship she had just started to shut down. Liara had once again melded their minds and they had finally found the conduit. It was on Ilos.

"Navigator Presly set a course for Ilos I am sending you the information now." Garrus watched her say on her comm. He didn't hear his response but the look on her face told him that she was pissed.

"Damn the stupid Council they are ordering us back to the Citadel immediately while Saren's fleet is getting away."

"El you need to go to the med-bay and get your shoulder looked at."

"I am fine Garrus."

"Heh heh Shepard … You do know that you are bleeding all over the cargo bay floor and I for one am not cleaning up the mess." Wrex grumbled out.

She pulled herself out of Garrus's grasp and winced when a shooting pain went through her left arm. "I said I am fine, let me be." She went to step towards the elevator then collapsed to the cargo bay floor.

"Wrex call Chakwas." Garrus growled out as he picked her now unconscious body up from the ground. He noticed she also had another gunshot wound on her upper right thigh. He hurried to the elevator with her in his arms and unfortunatly Alenko in tow.

"Garrus I can take her."

"No" he growled out. He was not about to relinquish his precious cargo to a man that she had trouble dealing with.

"Officer Vakarian I said…"

"Alenko, for your own good back off" he barreled as he pushed his way out of the elevator cradling Elika to his chest on his way to the med-bay.

"Garrus put her there. What is the situation?"Chakwas asked.

"She fell unconscious a few minutes ago. Two gun shoot wounds one to her left shoulder and one to her upper right thigh as far as I can tell. She also had another run in with a Prothean Beacon."

"Why did you let her get close to one of those things again?" Kaidan yelled.

"You two out Liara I need your help."

Joker saw Kaidan rounding on Garrus by the time he got out of the elevator. Garrus looked devastated and Kaidan was fuming.

"How could you let her near the beacon?"

"I didn't. I saw what the cipher did to her on Feros. We watched as Sovereign told us of our destruction but the information was worth the risk to her. She choice to interact with it in hopes to save the Galaxy and that includes your sorry ass Lieutenant."

"You are out of line Officer Vakarian."

"You are not my Commander. Commander Elika Shepard of the Alliance is the only one I answer to and that includes Wrex, Liara and Tali They only answer to her as well. So be careful."

"Garrus, Lieutenant that is enough. Do not make me get Wrex to separate you too. El is in there hurt and you two are out here fighting. Why?"Joker said as he hobbled on his crutches over to them.

"Joker you need to contact Anderson and tell him code name Valiant… I'll … I'll be… I'll be in the cargo bay if anyone needs me."

"Garrus…"

"Officer Vakarian you were not dismissed."

"Look here Lieutenant, me and the turian may not get along but stand down or he might tear your head off." Wrex said as he loomed over Kaidan.

Kaidan was pacing back on forth "Joker how long until we reach the Citadel?"

"We are 48 hours out Kaidan. I am sorry about Ash but I need to contact Captain Anderson for Garrus."

"What is Valiant Joker?"

"Nothing that concerns you."

* * *

She felt groggy and the lights were already starting to hurt her closed eyes. She could hear someone shuffling around and the beeping of the monitors around her. She could feel pain radiating from her shoulder and her leg as she began to stir.

"Commander, I wouldn't move around too much. I patched you up but you need to rest. Next time remember to use your med-gel recovery time would be cut in half."

"Thanks. So when can I get out of here?"

"Well we should reach the Citadel in 36 hours and if you want I can have Lieutenant Alenko help you to your room since I know how much you enjoy being in here with me."

"Doc do you think you can get Garrus to help me to my room instead of Kaidan. I can't deal with him right now. He is going to question my decision about Ash. I… I… I can't deal with that right now."

"I will get Garrus but you should know he hasn't been handling this so well. Kaidan laid into him when he brought you in here and they almost got in to a fight Out in the mess. Joker isn't doing so well either Liara has been with him while Tali and Wrex have been handling Garrus."

"Thanks Doc."

It was a few minutes before Garrus came up from the cargo bay.

"Hey big guy you looking a bit tired."

"Well you look a bit shot up but what do I know. Ready to get out of here?"

"Yeah but I am going to need some help." She said as she slowly sat up and moved her legs off the table in an attempt to stand.

Garrus moved over to her side and before she could say anything he bent down and picked her up.

"Put me down Vakarian."

"Not likely going to happen Shepard unless you want Alenko to see you leaving the med bay be cause he hasn't left the mess. Without me sounding cocky I can get you to your room before he even notices this way unless you want to talk to him?"

"Fine please proceed."

With her in his arms he peered out of the med bay doors Kaidan's back was to them so he ran silently to the elevator then peered around it and nodded to Tali to distract Kaidan as he moved silently to Shepard's quarters.

"Who knew you could move so quietly."

"Well I am a sniper for a reason but stealth is second nature for me. My parents found it a bit unnerving at times growing up." He said as he placed her on her bed. "Well if you need anything just let me know, okay. I will be down working on the Mako yet again."

"Garrus stay please."

He turned to look at her. He saw the pleading in her eyes and could tell that she was hurting not just physically but emotionally as well. He didn't know what he could do for her. When something bothered him it usually took some sort of physical release to get himself back under control and she was defiantly not up for a fight.

"El …"

"Please Garrus I don't want to be alone right now. I know since the sedatives have worn off if I fall asleep that the dreams will be here and I … I shouldn't be alone and I don't think Joker is up to staying here right now with me. He really liked Ashley. If it weren't for regs he would have asked her out, she was the first woman besides me to treat him like a whole person not a cripple. I think I may have lost him…"

"El, Joker hasn't left your side since Chakwas said it was okay to be in there. He only left when he was ordered by Presly to return to the cockpit. You haven't lost him, I don't think you ever could. I am not sure why you made the decision you did but I agree with it. The bomb was the priority. I liked Ash she is going to be greatly missed but you have to remember that she knew what she was signing up for when she enlisted. She never would blame you and you shouldn't blame yourself."

"Garrus I choice the Lieutenant because the bomb was the priority and second Alenko was a higher ranking officer but what is he going to think. He doesn't understand and I can't deal with him at the moment."

"Good thing I am staying then because he has been dancing around me since I brought you to the med-bay. So why don't we continue where we left of on Firefly until you can move around better."

"Thanks Garrus."

* * *

Garrus was a sleep on the couch and she felt better enough to move around. She had been asleep for a few hours and her stomach was telling her it was time to eat. She quietly got up and tested her wait on her leg, it seemed to be fine so she moved towards her door trying not to wake the sleeping turian. Once in the mess she started to look through the cold storage for her leftover wings and something to make a salad. She hadn't noticed Kaidan working on that infernal panel outside of the sleeper pods.

"Commander about Virmire, it should have been me." He said from behind her.

Starteled she turned to face him. "Lieutenant I made my decision and I stand by it."

"Why me, is it because of us? Why didn't you save Ashley?"

"First of all there is no us. You're a friend and you're walking a pretty thin line on that one, but Ash was a better friend then you and it was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make. I made it based on logic not emotions. First the bomb was the mission and we had to see the mission through. Second you were the ranking officer and that is the only other reason you are here right now and not her. Now if you don't mind Lieutenant I will be returning to my quarters until the Doc clears me for duty."

"As you wish Commander."

* * *

They were five hours out when she got a message from Anderson on her omni-tool. Garrus was just waking up and apologizing for falling asleep. All it said was Valiant in route.

"Was it you or Joker that contacted Anderson?"

"I had Joker to get Anderson to contact him. You need him El, trust me, I can see that are things piling up on you and maybe if you get to see him then that is one less thing to worry about. You care about him and in a way he is another piece of you. We don't know what we will find on Ilos and as much as the Council wants you back at the Citadel I don't see you staying to long. So maybe seeing him will help you with all the weight that is on your shoulders. The Council isn't believing us about the Reapers but your crew does. Elika you need this."

"Thanks Garrus. Have I told you that you are my best friend, Joker is like another brother, thank you for always being there."

It hurt to hear her call him that but she was right she was his best friend too, but he wanted something more he just wouldn't tell her that. "Thanks I should go I still need to finish the Mako and clean my rifle again."

"See ya later Garrus" she called out as he exited her quarters.


	12. Chapter 12

**I am truly sorry for the delay of this but life happens and sometimes my stress relievers like writing just made it more frustrating. So I apologize for the delay and hope to be better about things from here on out. I hope you like it.**

Garrus couldn't believe it, upon their arrival at the Citadel the Council had wanted to see Shepard. They had decided to keep the Normandy lock downed in the space dock and ground Shepard from her mission. Once they had left the Council chambers Anderson had requested them to meet him at Flux and told them about his idea for unlocking the Normandy's systems and getting them on their way to Ilos. He was glad that it was him and Wrex with her because he did not want to know what Kaidan would say about the proposed mutiny and stealing of the Normandy. On their mad dash back to the ship Joker had sent him a message on his Omni-tool that the special package had arrived and was waiting in her quarters which made Garrus glad.

He was now heading to the mess with Shepard and they had just broken free from the Citadel and the Commander's speech was something he would remember.

"Garrus, Anderson just sent me a vid of him punching out Udina if you want to see it?"

"Why don't you send it to me and Joker El, Liara has asked to see me."

"Okay. You want to come by after and watch a vid we have a few hours until we will reach Ilos and as much as I want to sleep I don't think I will be able too."

"Sure Commander," he said as the rounded the stairs. She gave him a quizzical look until he nodded over to her cabin and she saw Kaidan pacing back and forth. He turned towards the med-bay and watched her, Liara really didn't want to see him but Joker and Anderson had helped him arrange for a surprise for El and it was currently waiting in her quarters. He watched Kaidan follow her into her cabin and he felt a pain in his chest. He knew there was nothing between the two of them and that El couldn't really stand the Lieutenant but he just didn't like the way Kaidan always looked at her and followed her around. He took a seat at the table closest to her quarters and was listening to the muffled yelling coming from them. It was only minutes later that he watched the Lieutenant emerge from her quarters and barrel straight back up the stairs, he figured he was heading to the cockpit to complain to Joker.

Garrus got up and headed to her door and was in time to her a full blown yelp of surprise and a biotic surge of power wash through the bulk head. By the more colorful human curses and the untranslated words coming through his translator he figured she had found her surprise so he turned to head down to the cargo hold to see if Wrex was up for some sparing.

* * *

"So Joker wasn't lying that idiot really can't get a hint can he?" came a voice from her bed. Shepard turned and watched as her twin dropped the cloak and became visible. It took her a nano second for her to yelp in surprise then launch herself at him. When she landed on Braven their biotics connected and a surge of power was released.

"What the fuck are you doing her you dumb shit? Who the hell let you on this ship and where the hell is Bashful you asshole?" she said while taking some of her frustration with Kaidan out on the body underneath her with her fists.

Braven just laughed while his sister through punches at him. He was pretty sure that most wouldn't leave a mark because he still had his armor on but the last one to the ribs was going to be questionable because she used her biotics. "Mousie calm down before you break your hand on me. Joker, Anderson and some guy named Garrus who you haven't said a word about to me mind you asked me to come see you they and I quote said that you needed me. Joker snuck me on the ship and Bashful is in my bag in a locker down in the cargo bay. So Anderson gave me your mission reports and Joker kept me filled in on most of the gossip. I am sorry about Ash you were always happy when you talked about her in your vids and messages. I am sorry you had to make that call and I want you to know I would have made the same call."

By now she had gotten off him and was sitting at the end of her bed and was examining her brother. He had grown his hair out, he could use it to help hide his eyes when he wanted to but it was currently brushed to the side and tucked behind his ears. There was a new scar on his jaw that wasn't there before she would ask about that later. She was so glad that he was here Garrus and Joker were right she really needed him. The frustration and stress that she had been feeling was slowly melting away from her. They just sat there in silence for what seemed like an hour, their biotics humming around them forming a peaceful sphere before she heard her brother speak again.

"So… you going to tell me who Garrus is?" he caught her blush before she could hide it. "Are you blushing? Is Commander Shepard the first human Spectre and sole survivor of Akuze actually blushing?"

She couldn't help it she was never able to hide her emotions from him and he could do no better in return. "It possible could be a blush but I think it is just from the excursion that was caused from me betting your ass."

"I will believe that when admit that I am a better shot than you."

"You know that will never happen. Garrus is the Turian C-sec officer that joined us. He has become a great friend we usually hang out in here and watch vids in our down time and he is a great listener. Surprisingly cuddly too."

"Did you just call a Turian cuddly?"

"Yes why?"

"Hmm is it possible that you may like him more than a friend?"

"It maybe possible." The look that she was receiving was nothing but mischievous and all knowing. "Okay, okay… I am pretty sure…oh alright yes I like him in that more the friendship way but there is no way that he likes me like that and even if he did what could possible happen between the two of us once this mission is over?"

"Well I guess it is time to meet him. So get your butt up sis and lets go plus I need to get my bag from the cargo bay."

* * *

They weren't prepared for the sight that was in the cargo bay when the elevator doors opened. Liara, Tali and Kaidan were sitting on some crates next to the Rec Officer and Wrex was flying across the cargo bay in to the bulk head.

"What the hell is going on down here? Officer Vakarian answers now." Shepard bellowed out upon seeing Wrex standing up.

"We were just sparing Commander." She could hear Wrex mumbling that the Turian had gotten in a lucky throw from where he was standing. All eyes in the cargo bay had turned to her and were no starting to linger on her brother that was behind her.

"Commander who is he?" Kaidan asked through clenched teeth.

"Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko this is Corsair Valiant. Valiant this if Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, Tali'Zorah vas Neema, Liara, that mountain over there is Urdnot Wrex and this here is Officer Garrus Vakarian these are the members of my ground team."

Braven's only response to the introductions was to node. He was careful to keep his hair slightly covering his eyes to not give away too much and he kept a stoic mask over his face as he appraised the individuals. He already didn't like Kaidan and if he didn't stop harassing his sister he was sure that he could get the Krogan and the Turian to help him with his idea of a solution. He could tell by what he already knew that he would become good friends with Tali and Wrex and with the way that Garrus was watching him and his sister he thought he could be friends with him as well. He also suspected there was more to the turian's feelings then friendship.

"If I may ask Commander why is he here?" Kaidan asked while trying to intimidate the new arrival.

"Anderson requested my presence on the Normandy since it is still an Alliance ship and that way some of the fallout of the crew going rouge could be contained by my presence here. The council will have less to question against since I am a corsair. Thank you for the tour Commander I will retrieve my things and I would like to discuss who will be accompanying us on the ground mission on Ilos. Lieutenant Alenko a word in private if you please."

Shepard watched as her brother took Kaidan over to the lockers for a quick word and before she could turn around she was being bombarded with questions from Tali and Liara.

"Elika who is he? He is very good looking for a human and the black armor with his hair makes him very rougish."

"I am so not going there," El replied as placed her hands on her face she could hear bits and pieces of her brother's conversation and what she heard was a major dressing down that he was giving Kaidan and something about rules and regulations. She turned to face Garrus and waved the questions off from Tali and Liara as she spoke to him. "so still up for some vids?"

"What about Valiant?"

"He is going to catch up with Joker for a bit and then he wanted to meet you."

"Should I be worried El?"

"Nope not at all" she chuckled.

"Let me get cleaned up and I will be up there in a bit."

* * *

The rest of the voyage to Ilos was a blur to Garrus. He had gone up to Elika's cabin and was practically interrogated by Braven the moment that he returned from the cockpit. No topic was untouched his past, his family, and what he planned to do after the mission was over. He surprised himself when he told them that he wanted to go through Spectre training. He liked watching the twins interact, it was almost like watching one being. They mirrored each other in movements and seemed to communicate with simple gestures and looks without involving words. He could feel the biotics just sitting in the room with them. He had ended up leaving when he watched Elika yawning and falling asleep next to her brother with a teddy bear in her arms. Braven had told him before he left that they should get a drink together once the mission was over.

It didn't come as a surprise that he was going to join the twins on the ground team to Ilos he was the only one that knew Valiant's identity and he was sure that their fighting styles would give them away. He had notice that Braven also had two daggers but his were made from some type of metal. The Mako landing on Ilos was an adrenalin rush and a confirmation of Joker's skills as a pilot. Shepard's usual driving even had her brother holding on for dear life at times and all he could think about when the followed Saren through the conduit was that he hoped he survived this because there was something important that he needed to get of his plates to Elika. He could only hope that she would accept him either way and their friendship would remain intact because he couldn't lose that it would break him.


	13. Chapter 13

As they pulled themselves out of the crashed Mako Braven looked at Garrus and asked "Is her driving always like that?"

"For my own personal safety I am not going to answer that but I don't think even I will be able to fix the Mako this time."

"Are you boys going to stand there and chat all day or are we going to stop Saren?" Shepard yield over her shoulder as she walked away from the ruined vehicle towards Avina the Citadels VI in hopes of finding out where Saren was.

"Is she okay?" Garrus asked Braven.

"Her mind is in the fight and she will get things done but she is confused about a few things that she needs time to figure out. Nothing bad but it is something new for her so from me to you don't stop being her friend when this is all over."

"I could never do that. I promise."

He couldn't remember the specifics after that conversation. Saren had stopped the elevators so they were forced to fight their way up the outside of the Citadel to the Council Chambers. It was something he would never forget. The twins biotics worked together to hurl enemy geth and krogans of the sides of the citadel. He would shoot the snipers and not have to worry about the fight in front of him because no one could get through the two of them. They rarely used their guns biotic waves of power were reported being seen from the outer wards. Between the two of them Saren never stood a chance. Shepard had even talked himself into ending his own life rather than being taken over by the Reapers.

Once the fight with Saren was over she ordered the Alliance fleet in to save the Destiny Accession to save the Council. Sovereign then took over the lifeless body of Saren in a final attempt to bring the Reapers to the Citadel from dark space. While they fought the possessed body the Alliance and the Normandy battled the Reaper attached to the core of the Citadel in an all-out effort to stop the arrival of the sentient machines. When Sovereign was finally destroyed by the Normandy the pieces fell into the Council chambers and Garrus's heart stopped because part of the enormous structure landed on Shepard.

"Captain Anderson we found them" he heard someone say in the distance.

"Valiant where is Shepard?" Anderson asked Braven as he and Garrus looked over to the pile of rubble. There was only silence. The pain in Garrus's chest rose as he looked upon the faces of the Alliance officers and that of Shepard's brother. It seemed as if hours had gone by before the heard the shifting of rubble and a figure moved out through the smoke of the debris.

"Sorry to disappoint boys but I think I may have broken the Council Chambers and possible the Mako for good this time." Shepard said as she cradled her arm against her chest. There was blood running down her face form a cut above her eye and Garrus could hear her labored breathing probably from a few cracked or broken ribs. She barely made it a few more steps before she began to collapse and Garrus was there in an instant to catch her as she passed out in his arms.

He didn't release her until they got her to an Alliance hospital and even then he tried to stay with her. It took Braven to hold him back as she was rushed into surgery and now he waited outside her room until she woke up. Joker and Braven were in the room with her Anderson had left moments ago. They would only let family in to see her which angered many of her crew including a pacing Kaidan.

"Why is Joker in there with her?" Kaidan asked.

"Anderson said he is listed as next of kin along with him because he was her guardian after Mindoir. It is not like they would let us all in there at once any ways Lieutenant Alenko she needs rest. The Doctors said that we can see her a few at a time once she regains consciences," Liara said. They turned to the sound of a door opening "how is she?" she asked.

"She is still asleep she woke up a few minutes after her surgery but they gave her some sedatives. You guys should go get some rest I will let you guys know when she wakes up and when she wants visitors." Joker stated and watched as most of the assembled ground team nodded and got up to leave. "Hey Garrus I was wondering if you could do me a favor?" He watched Wrex turn to look at them. Garrus nodded in his direction and stood up to walk over to Joker. They noticed that Wrex whispered something to Tali and Liara and they somehow convinced Kaidan to leave a few moments later.

"Is she really okay?" Garrus asked.

"Braven has been cloaked when the doctors have come in no one besides you, me and Anderson know that he is in there. Whatever they gave her plus whatever biotic shit that they pulled during the fight has left her biotics all fucked up. Braven is doing his best to keep them in check and keeping me from getting hurt. He thinks since you have been able to help in the past and keep her calm that you might be able to help now."

"What does he expect me to do?"

"I don't know just get in there will ya. I am going to the mess to get some food for Braven, he has already gone through his emergency biotic bars and you know what El is like when she is hungry he is just as bad. Fuck I just wish…never mind. She needs help and she trusts you so please help her."

"Fine I will, see you when you get back."

"You now it would be so much easier on all of us if you make up your mind and grow a quad."

Garrus gave a puzzled look at Joker he really didn't know what to say as he watched his friend hobble away to the mess. He didn't bother knocking at the door before he entered he knew he was expected. It was only seconds once the door closed that Braven's cloak fell. He could feel the biotic energy in the room humming all around him. There was a blue haze that seem to cover Elika's body as she slept. Every now and then he could feel surges coming of her and say Braven cringe in the corner of the room.

"The last time she was like this was when we were nine. She had fallen out of tree and hit her head pretty hard. I stayed by her until our parents came looking for us her biotics threw them into a tree when they tried to move her. I had to be touching her to control her biotics. The doctor on the colony said she had a concussion and a broken arm, she said she was very lucky. The doctor monitored her through the night and when she woke the nest morning everything went back to normal. I know there has been problems on the Normandy Joker told me that her dreams are playing havoc with her biotics. I want to thank you for keeping her safe and helping Jeff. He is like a brother two the both of us. He helped me out a lot after the institute, more than El knows. Also as much as you try to hide it I know that you care about her more than you let on. You are good for her from what I have seen and heard, you push her when she needs to be pushed but you also watch her six even from herself. So thank you."

Garrus didn't know what to say so he just pulled up a chair next to El's bed and sat in silence. It wasn't long before Joker came back with food, he had a nurse in tow caring a few plates for him. When she left they ate in silence waiting for El to wake up. It was a few hours later when he felt a small hand grab onto his wrist. He turned to face a slightly groggy but smiling El.

"Hey you?"

"Look who has finally woke up from her beauty sleep." Joker said from the corner next to Braven.

She was still looking into Garrus's eyes when she mumbled for him to shut up.

"What's that? I didn't quite catch that."

"I said shut up Jeff you are making my head hurt."

"Well sis lets see, the doc says that you have a few broken ribs, one which punctured a lung and a broken arm. You also have some minor lacerations and some bruising but you should be fine in about a week and back to full duty in a month. She even said to Anderson that as long as you have someone with you, they could discharge you later today and you can stay on the Normandy or Anderson went to check and see how the apartment held up he said you can go to it if you let Chakwas check up on you as long as it was okay." Braven told her from across the room his gaze lingered on her hand that was still on Garrus's arm and just smirked at her. "I am going to go see what he discovered because I am on Shepard duty as he put it. Just like when were kids you never liked following doctor's orders and I don't think you are going to now."

"Where is the fun in that?" she said as she watched him come over to the bed. He kissed her on the forehead before he left the room. She then turned to Joker who was slowly moving around the end of the bed. "And where do you think you are going?"

"I oh illustrious Commander I am going to inform your ground crew that you are awake and can see visitors since I have a feeling you are going to disappear into your cave and not come out for a week since that is how long it will take for your lungs to heal. I don't think you want the Lieutenant to know where you live and he was driving everyone up the walls with his pacing earlier. Shit El it was hilarious he was so mad to find out the I am listed as you next of kin and Anderson had told the doctors that I was the only one allowed in here unless I gave permission to someone else. He didn't know that though. So Garrus is going to keep you company until I get back." He replied as he walked out the door.

"So… you're here to keep me company."

"I guess you are stuck with me." Garrus said as he looked over her once again. The cut above her eye would hardly leave a scar but the one on her left arm came dangerously close to ruining her tattoo. Her shoulder was badly bruised and the cast on her arm already had drawings done by Braven and Joker on it.

"I don't mind, do you think you could help me sit up a bit please?"

"I think I can manage that." He grabbed the extra pillow that was on the end of her bed and went to put it behind her. He slowly moved his arm behind her and he felt her turn in to him. The next thing he felt was a pair of impossible soft lips kissing his plates above his mandible. It froze him in place.

"Thank you Garrus for being here and for getting Braven here. I couldn't have done all this without you two."

"You are welcome El," was all he could say as he placed her back on the pillows. The doctors came in a few moments later and cleared her for visitors and said after a few more test results came back she could be discharged into the care of Officer Valiant and Dr. Chakwas to stay at a location that Captain Anderson had arranged if she chose not to return to the Normandy right away.

* * *

By the time the night cycle had come around her ground crew had come to visit and had gone, Garrus had left with them only to return an hour later. She had given the crew of the Normandy a few weeks of shore leave as it was getting repaired. Braven had returned with Dr. Chakwas shortly before she was discharged and the four them plus Joker headed to her condo to settle her in. C-sec had wanted to assign someone to aide in her security while on the Citadel so Garrus had volunteered even though he was no longer in their ranks so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable. It wasn't long after they got to the condo that Chakwas had left giving strict instructions to both Joker and Valiant to keep her movements to a minimum, since she knew there was no way that Shepard would stay on bed rest for the entire week, she then left the four of them to their own devices.

It wasn't long after she left that Braven and Joker made their way to her office/tech lab and that she found her way to be laying on the couch wrapped in blankets with her feet on Garrus's lap watching one of her favorite vids and that was how Braven found them a sleep when he and Joker left her office.

"Should we wake them?" Joker asked.

"No those two have it bad for each other and they are too stupid to do something about it so maybe this is a good thing. So lets leave them. You good in the guest room or are you going back to the Normandy?"

"Anderson sent my stuff here so I am good. Shit they are cute in a weird I can kill you with my bare hands kind of way."

"Aghhh…Joker's got a heart."

"Go to bed. I may break trying to kick your ass but that won't stop me if that shit gets around. I have my image to protect."

"Jeff your secrets are safe in the family," he replied as he headed to his own room. He came back with an extra blanket and laid it over Garrus then he turned off the lights and returned to his room.


	14. Chapter 14

**I apologize to all of you out there that are following this and my other story, but life has been one up and down rollercoaster after another and I haven't had much time to write. In addition it didn't help that someone took my writing notebooks that had my ideas, outline and a few chapters from the desk I was using in the library why I went to get a book. Glad I took my I pad with me and the laptop was at home what type of idiot steals someone's school notes and writing books. Agghhhh sorry just needed to vent and after that incident I just was down and had a lot of catching up to do. So here is the next chapter and I hope to be better at updating more frequently. **

He woke up a little disoriented. His pillow was warm and squishy and he could swear that there was a warm pleasant weight on his fringe that seemed to be carelessly caressing it. He was so content that he didn't want to wake up so he tried to bury his head further into his comfortable pillow. The sounds of chuckling brought him abruptly out of his disorientation and he quickly sat up.

"Shhh don't move you will wake her" he heard Braven say. "I don't know how she slept with you laying on her stomach, or how she didn't wake up when you jumped. If I was better at reading turians I would say that you are flustered and possible embarrassed that I saw you trying to snuggle my sister."

"What I am thinking right now I don't think she would appreciate me inflicting upon you so you better not tell her or Joker about what you saw here."

"Don't worry Garrus, we saw you guys a sleep here last night but if you don't want the Doc to see you it might be best if we get her to her room in the next ten minutes." Braven moved over to the couch to try and wake his sister but Garrus stopped him.

"I got her I don't think she will be too thrilled about falling asleep on the couch with me go. Why don't you go back to your room and I will get her up and help her back to hers."

"Garrus you might be surprised, I don't think she mines having you fall asleep with her or in this case on her." If Braven could have taken a picture of Garrus's face he would have. Turian's maybe hard to read but he was pretty sure that he had just shocked him and now he was deciding on how to process said information. He turned and left to hide in his room while Garrus woke his sister up.

"Elika," he said softly to her while slightly shaking her still form. He watched as she batted his hand away and rolled closer to him. "Elika its almost time for Doc to get here I don't think you want her to find you asleep on the couch," he shook her a little bit harder this time while trying to be mindful of her injuries. When he got no response he picked up her legs from his lap and scooted his arm under them and gently moved his other arm under her back. It took no effort at all for him to pick her up from the couch and move her to her own bed. He laid her down and drew the covers over her and tucked her in. he then swept a few stray strands of her hair out of her face and silent berated himself for the feelings that were rushing at him. He wasn't sure exactly when but he knew that he was in love with her. He felt his heart break at remembering that he could have lost her. The comment from Joker at the hospital and the one from Braven earlier was running threw his head. Maybe he should grow a quad and just tell her. He took one look back at her before he left her room.

Braven and Joker were in the kitchen making coffee and some breakfast. "She is still asleep I would let Chakwas wake her up she has had a lot of experience in that. I think I am going to head back to my place for a while. You two got security duty until I come back."

"Garrus you okay?"

"Yeah Joker I am fine. I just need to think about a few things and I need to get word to my family by now Solana is probably on her way here and as much as I love by sister she is like yours and her right hook in dangerous. Will you tell her I will be back later this evening to check up on things." With that said he turned and left the condo.

* * *

It had been hours since he left her condo. Joker had pinged him to let him know what Chakwas had said and he had vid called his family to let them know that he was okay. Solana did a very good impression of a C-sec interrogator, he was pretty impressed by her, but she did not break him and got no relevant information out of him on the subject of Shepard. He had even check his inbox and there was an invitation to join the Spectres. He would be able to bypass most of the training in accordance to him being C-sec and as they put it shadowing a current Spectre. So that was another thing that was currently running throw his mind. He didn't know what to do. He knew that he loved Elika and should tell her but he was scared. The Spectre request was also something to consider he knew his position in C-sec and her Spectre duties along with her Alliance obligations wouldn't allow him much time with her, but Spectres could work together and a few of them had regular partners. If he went through training and got his Spectre status he could work with her again and they would be able to spend more time together. He decided that he would accept the Spectre offer then tell her his feelings for her after he got his Spectre status. With his decision made he left his small apartment and returned to her condo.

* * *

The next week flew by with Elika, Garrus, Braven and Joker hanging out in the twin's condo watching vids and working on tech. Garrus had even let her mess with his visor and omni-tool. She had added a few of her favorite games to it and synced his visor to her omni-tool. She didn't tell him that she found out that he was going to enter Spectre training. She had accidently seen the letter he had sent them and was thrilled that sometime in the future they had a good chance of working together. Braven had told her how he had found them the first night she was home and she realized that sooner or later she was going to have to do something about the way she was feeling about a certain Turian. She had been cleared by Chakwas to return to light duty until her arm was fully healed then she would be taking the Normandy and her crew out to hunt for Geth per the Council's orders. To say she was happy about that was an understatement.

* * *

It was two days before the Normandy was to be deployed that her ground team and friends met up at Purgatory for a few drink to say their goodbyes. She knew Garrus was staying on the Citadel to continue his Spectre training that he had started a week ago. Wrex was returning to Turchanka, and Tali was going back to the fleet. Joker, Liara and Kaidan were going to be joining her on her next mission and her brother was going under cover somewhere. The club was packed people were dancing, drinking and all in all having a good time. Some of the other crew members of the Normandy had joined them at the club and they took up a few booths in the VIP section. She noticed that her team was having fun but Garrus was unusually quiet.

"Hey El are you going to ever talk with grumpy over there because even Wrex can't get the guy to lighten up? And your brother is getting tired of running interference with Kaidan I swear that man is just is so thick, why can't he take a clue."

"Jeff if I could answer that question I would. I don't know what to do about Garrus. I want to tell him but I don't want to ruin our friendship."

"Ok I get it do me a favor and stay here for a minute," Joker said as he stood up, "I will be right back" he turned and headed over to Braven and along the way sent Tali and Liara over to keep her company. "Hey Valiant a word please."

"Sure Joker, Kaidan I hope you remember our conversation in the cargo bay. I will know if my orders are not followed." He turned and followed Joker to a quieter place in the club. "What's up Jeff?"

"A certain moody Turian and a very chicken shit sister need to be locked in a room together before I accidently crash a shuttle into a planet the next time I hear our lovely girl whine about him. Are we the only two besides Anderson to see it?"

"No Wrex has mention that the Turian needs to grow a quad and Liara has mention a few things as well about your illustrious leader."

"Agghh so you heard that. So do you have a plan? Or do I have to figure something out."

"I have a plan but they are going to kill us if this doesn't turn out good. We just need to get them in the elevator that heads to the alliance dock that houses the Normandy."

"And how do we do that?"

"Watch and learn." Joker watched as Braven started typing away on his omni-tool. It was only moments later that he watched El and Garrus check their omni-tools and said their goodbyes to their friends. "Now all we have to do is track their movements and when they get in the elevator and are alone which should be in about ten minutes are so. I have a duct rat keeping an eye out for me and he will let me know when they get there."

"So how does that get them alone for a period of time, are you going to hijack the elevator or something? You are aren't you?"

"It wouldn't be the first time and with Tali's decryption software update she gave me they aren't going to be getting out soon."

* * *

Garrus had gotten a message from Pressly saying that he had left something on the Normandy that they found during the repairs and was heading down to pick it up, and was accompanying Elika who got a message from Adams that she needed to sign for something so they could finish fixing up the drive core. They had been in the elevator that would take them to the Normandy's docking bay just a few minutes when the elevator came to an abrupt stop then to pings could be heard as the only occupants of the elevator got messages on their omni-tools;

_YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO LEAVE UNTIL YOU TALK TO EACH OTHER. SO GROW A QUAD AND TALK.-VALIANT AND JOKER_

_P.S. NO POINT IN TRYING TO HACK YOUR WAY OUT I USED TALI'S SOFTWARE AND SOME OF DAD'S OLD STUFF…_

"That sneaky conniving little shit hacked our omni-tools."

"So why do they think we need to talk?" Garrus said while running his talons over his fringe.

"Well I am guessing they know something that we don't," she replied nervously.

"Elika if I dint know any better I would say you are nervous…I… I need to get something of my plates. I have wanted to tell you something since before Ilos but I have been a bay pyjack about it. Elika I know we are friends but I truly hope that someday we could be more than that. I really care about you and when I thought you may have died that day before you came walking out of the rubble and passed out in my arms my heart broke. I hope that by telling you this that I haven't ruined our friendship."

She stood there shocked at what Garrus had told her. It took her a few minutes to processes the information and by the time she processed what he had said she was watching a very anxious Turian pace the small confines of the elevator. "Garrus nothing is going to ruin our friendship and especial not this. I care about you too and I hope whatever we have will turn out to be something more than friendship, but for now I don't know what to do. The Normandy and I leave in a two days and as much as I want to see were this goes I think that we should wait until you get out of Spectre training. I can request to have you work with me on the Geth front. You will be done in less than a year and we can vid call and write when every we have a chance and I will come back her for shore leave to spend time with you."

Garrus had stopped his pacing and turned to face her, "I would really like that Elika. I had already planned on requesting to work with you when I got my status. I guess they were right we did need to talk."

"Now if they would only get this elevator working again." No sooner had she said that then the elevator resumed changing course heading back up the way that they came. When the doors opened a grinning Braven stood tall and waited for the wrath of his sister. "You… you grinning bastard. What gave you the right?"

"Well grumpy over here wouldn't quad up and you dear sister were being chicken shit. Most of your ground team knew something was going on and I got sick of Joker whining. So I took the matter into my own hands and look everything is out in the open and you will be happier for it. And you…"he turned to face Garrus "You hurt her and you will see just how strong my biotics are." He said as he turned to leave the stunned couple.

* * *

For months they talked to each other during their free time between training and missions they spoke from at least an hour every day. They would speak about trivial things and on occasion how they felt about one another. They even made plans on what they were going to do when she got back to the Citadel in a months time on shore leave. Elika would wake up to messages of _I miss you _and _Just thinking about you _and every night she would send him a message to tell him she was alright and to wish him a goodnight.

It was the one night he didn't hear from her that he got worried he had sent her numerous messages asking if she was okay. He even pinged Joker trying to find out what had happened and in the morning when he opened the door to his apartment and Braven stood there with tears silently running down his face, "She's gone" he said and with those to words his heart shattered.


	15. Chapter 15

Normandy burning… Fighting… Hissing…

Cold…Darkness…Suffocating…

Garrus…Quiet… Garrus…Black

* * *

"Wake up Shepard! Get up now the lab is under fire…. Move now…."

"Where am I?"

"No time for that grab the gun and move now."

* * *

"Enough he is going with Tali."

"Thank you Shepard. I know its not much but I missed you."

* * *

"Jeff, what happened to you? Why are you here?" She couldn't stop staring at him. He was walking around unaided by his crutches and he was really here. Her first familiar friendly face and it was her best friend.

"Hey EL. It all fell apart without you El. Everything you stirred up the Council just wanted gone. Team was broken up records sealed and I was grounded. The Alliance took everything that mattered to me. Hell yeah I joined Cerberus."

"You really trust the Illusive Man Joker?"

"I don't trust anyone who makes more than I do, well accept the family. But they aren't all bad. Saved your life… fixed my legs and then some… let me fly… and there is this…" he said as he walked up to a window and turned to face Shepard. "Only told me last night…" Jeff watched as El's eyes widen in shock and surprise as the Normandy SR2 was slowly revealed to her. "Its good to be home huh… Now I guess it is time to go pick up some of the family and find the rest."

* * *

They were on their way to the Citadel and El was hiding in her new Captain's quarters. Miranda was driving her up the wall trying to tell her what to do and through her genetic superiority in her face. Crewman Chambers had shown her around and she got a quick check up with Chakwas when the passed the med-bay. Talked to Engineer Donnelly about FBA couplings and Sergeant Gardner about food upgrades. Everything about the last 72 hours since she woke up on a lab table was starting to blur together. The only person she hadn't met was the tech guy that locked himself in the AI core. He was supposedly responsible for EDI the AI that she was almost positive Joker was trying to annoy.

"Commander Shepard Officer Valiant is requesting permission to enter." EDI announced while she was stepping out of the bathroom still drying her hair. She wasn't exactly sure who EDI announced but she figured it was probably important if the person came to her quarters to seek her out so she told EDI to allow them in.

"I will be with you in a moment." She said with her back to the person it was odd to feel the familiar presence of this person's biotics.

"Well you would think after getting space they could have done something about the scars but at least I see your tattoos survived or are they new." She turned around so fast that is it was possible she would have had whiplash. Her shocked expression didn't go unmissed by the man currently standing in her room. She saw him wave his omni-tool in the air. "Now that should give us some privacy. EDI please turn all recording devices off in the Commander's quarters except her biometrics and your sensors as well unless otherwise instructed by myself or the Commander."

"Yes Officer Valiant, I shall also keep your biotic signatures as classified data no one will know the link."

"Thank you EDI. Now EL you didn't think that I wouldn't find out about the rumors that someone was trying to bring you back and not come looking for you?"

"Braven you are really here, but how?"

"Anderson caught some rumors about you and I knew Jacob from the corsairs so when they needed a tech specialist he may have mentioned knowing about my abilities so I became an easy plant and made myself invaluable. I helped create EDI and installed her into the Normandy but please don't tell Jeff about it he already wants to kill the person who messed with his baby. EDI was ultimately created to assist you in your mission against the Collectors, so when they started feeding your information into her she started to notice similarities between our biometrics and most importantly our biotic signatures so she questioned me about it and we came to an understanding of sorts. I have given her a few more upgrades than Cerberus and the Illusive Man know and her core programing is to protect the ship and follow your orders over anyone else's. Plus I think she likes me."

"So you're undercover, you helped design and program the AI and said AI likes you. Okay I can process that but does Jeff know you are here and what about everyone else what about Garrus everyone I have asked doesn't know where he is do you?"

"Jeff knows I helped with the Normandy but doesn't know I was assigned to the crew and I have feelers out for Garrus but I have to tell you something. I was the one who told him you were gone he nearly destroyed his apartment after the news I had to hold him in a stasis field for hours afterwards until he calmed down. He left right after the funeral but he did protect Jeff from Kaidan's wrath. Kaidan almost killed Jeff before the memorial, he blamed him for your death, I think Jeff still blames himself a bit."

"It wasn't Jeff's fault he did everything he could he saved a lot of lives and I surely don't blame him."

"I know that but does he? I am hoping we can find Garrus for you sis. I know what he means to you but you might have to come to terms that he has moved on, but you do deserve closure at the very least. So when we hit the Citadel I have a few contacts to hit up and there is a thief that Miranda wants you to pick up and Anderson already knows we are on the way and has setup a meeting with Council. I am guessing there are a few things you need to pick up from out place? Just so you now I haven't touched your room and I may have setup an appointment with a certain artist to add a few feathers if I am not mistaken."

"Brae I love you you know," she said as she threw her arms around her brother. The shock of seeing him had worn off and the familiar feeling of his biotics was slowly soothing her jumbled nerves. Everything had been an overload of sensations since she woke up. She had barely slept a few minutes at a time and she was certain that when she did that her quarters might not survive the night.

"Miranda said the first amp the put in me burned out when I woke up prematurely, so the put a stronger on in that was slightly experimental. Do you think you could stay here tonight? I haven't actually slept more than a few minutes at a time and you I'm pretty sure that Jeff wants to keep his baby in one piece."

"El you really think I would leave you? I just got you back and when was the last time you slept without someone in the room or bashful? Oh poor bashful will just have to get you a new one or just try as hard as we can to get you your cuddly Turian back mmph." A pillow had come from nowhere at hit Braven upside the head. "El lay down you look exhausted lil sister."

"Hey I am older than you."

"Yes but you have technically been dead for two years so I am older now."

"How can you joke about all of this?"

"How can I not. I lost my other half when you died, and everything in our past the attack and the batarians. I can't help but joke otherwise I might go more insane then I am already sis. I love you now go to sleep I will make sure everything is okay until we get to the Citadel."

* * *

It was nonstop after arriving at the Citadel. The meeting with Anderson and the Council did not go as expected. Anderson had no relevant information on her past crew and the Council couldn't be concerned with the missing human colonists but they die reinstate her Spectre stats. Kasumi Goto was an interesting character and had a flare for the theatrics which Braven and she could appreciate. Elika had barely enough time to pick up a few things from her apartment before her tattoo appointment which Braven accompanied, they were leaving the shop when Braven decided to run into a gift shop and came back out with a bag behind his back.

Upon arriving back aboard the Normandy, Jeff informed them that a package arrived for El and was currently in the armory with Miranda and Kasumi.

"I didn't authorize this delivery." Miranda told Jacob.

"Hey Shep who's it from?" Kasumi asked as she saw Elika walk into the armory.

"Commander what were you an Officer Valiant doing?" Miranda inquired.

"Well if you must know Valiant accompanied me to pick up some supplies for Sergeant Gardner and then to look at some tech upgrades. As to the box I have my suspicions." She said as she reached out to the crate. It was all black and only about two feet long and about a foot wide. There was a security lock on it with a message screen so she typed in her name then phrase appeared. _Only a fool punches a nathak in the mouth…_ so she typed in _We should sneak around and pull its tail._ The box unlocked followed by another message on the screen.

_If the rumors are true I told the old man to give you this. I thought you could use them since I bet you lost yours. Ha I would love to see your face when you get them and yes they are from one the many we killed together._

She opened the crate and inside were two identical thresher maw daggers like the ones she lost. One whit and on black but she couldn't read the engravings on them. "Jacob do you think you could customize my armor to hold these in my boots please?"

"Not a problem Commander."

"Shep are those really Thresher Maw daggers who sent them to you?"

"Yes and a friend. EDI?"

"Yes Commander?"

"Could you have Joker plot a course to Omega it is time to pick up Mordin Solus and this Archangel character."

"Yes Commander"

"Commander if I may have a word?" Miranda asked as she was turning to leave the armory.

"Miranda."

"The Illusive man has sent word of another possible recruit a Zaeed Massani. He is a bounty hunter that is currently on Omega and he may be of use to us."

"Alright we will meet with him as well. Is there anything else?"

"I was hoping to be kept more in the loop about your where abouts when ashore. I am the first officer aboard the Normandy it would be helpful to know your location in case we need to get a hold of you."

"Listen here and now. I do not answer to you, you answer to me according to your boss. What I do on my personal time and who I do it with or who I take on missions is my decision. If I give you an order you will obey or face the consequences. Understand Miranda."

"Yes Commander."

"If that is all I will be retiring to my quarters there will be a briefing in the CIC an hour before we dock on Omega I would like the ground team to be assembled and ready to meet. Good evening Miranda." She said as she entered the elevator to arrive to her quarters.

Upon entering them she say Braven fiddling with a package on her desk.

"What are you doing Bray?"

"Ahhh yes well I may have bought you a replacement. See it's a new bear." He said as he held out a new black teddy bear. "I think you should him something and before you ask he is setup like bashful was."

"Thanks Bray….hmmm…how about Severus I think he looks like a Severus to me."

"Why do I even bother. Well since you now have a new bear I am going to my bunk to catch up on some sleep and will see you at the briefing."

"Thanks again Bray night."

"Night sis. Oh yeah I almost forgot I got a lead on you Turian he was last seen on Omega and that was a few months ago so I guess it is a good thing we are heading there." He said as he exited his sister's cabin.

I thrill of possibly finding Garrus was creeping over Elika. She still felt everything for him and truly wished that she had told him that she loved him. Her nerves that had been calmed down were starting to flare up again at the prospect of seeing him again.


	16. Chapter 16

The long forgotten familiar glow of Omega was seeping into her cabin through the skylight. What genius though it would be a good idea to put a skylight in the quarters of a person that was spaced was beyond her, the familiar station was bringing back long forgotten memories of past missions and unused aliases. She was surprised when she had returned to her quarters after the Citadel to find that someone had seen it necessary to fill her once empty fish tank up with colorful occupants that help her keep her mind off the uncomfortable situation she now found herself. Working with Cerberus was bothering her but she truly saw it as a means to an end. Her brothers were with her and she was thankful for them for fixing up Jeff and giving her a second chance at life, but everything was confusing. She missed her old crew they were her family, well most of them. She still had her brothers and the mother figure of Chakwas that took care of the three of them, but she missed her sisters in Liara and Tali. It hurt that Tali wouldn't join them on Freedoms Progress but she understood duty more than anyone. She also missed the constant father figure she had found surprisingly in Wrex but most of all the continuous hurt in her heart that the lack of Garrus was slowly consuming her.

This was why she was currently starring in the mirror of her bathroom applying the familiar purple and blue henna ink to the right side of her face. The triple moon on her forehead had already dried and she was finishing up the vines that worked their way through the Draco constellation that framed her right eye and when down to her jaw to frame the right side of her face. After she was done she stood there and starred at her reflection. So much of her old self was gone, the scar that ran down the right side of her face was missing along with a few that were on her stomach and thigh from the thresher maw attach. Familiar bullet holes and knife scars were permanently erased from her she was glad that Cerberus found it necessary to keep her tattoos without them she wouldn't be sure if she was the same person anymore because they were the only reminder of her past life she had on her body anymore.

The decision was made shortly after Braven informing her that Garrus was last spotted on Omega. She figured a dead Alliance Spectre was less likely to get the information she wanted but Apollo and Artemis would since they had done frequent business on Omega and with its kingpin Aria T'Loak. She sent a message to Jacob to re-paint her armor and had Braven paint his and get ready for the reappearance of Apollo. When they had arrived at Omega she sent Miranda and Jacob to obtain Zaeed and to pick a few need supplies and told Kasumi to wait for her in the Armory.

* * *

They had been docked for about a half hour before she had finished her preparations and headed down to the armory to put her armor on. Braven was already there and she positive that Kasumi was cloaked sitting on Jacob's bench watching her brother put the last of his armor on.

"So Kasumi are you going to join us or are you just going to watch Officer Valiant get dreesed?"

"Aghh Shep you ruined the fun." She said as she disengaged her tactical cloak.

"Goto I knew you were there. You should really watch your breathing at times." Braven replied with a smirk as he turned around.

"But… how did you know?" she inquired.

"I grew up with a twin sister." He said as he assembled his assault rifle. "We were good at hide and seek, I can't remember a single time someone beat us at the game. Plus dad was the one who helped design the tactical cloak you are using so a program I created a while back can pick up the signature of it. Sorry to disappoint your sneaking habits, but I can a sure you Shepard doesn't have it on her omni-tool yet so she picked you up all by herself."

Kasumi then focused her attention on the Commander as she was getting her armor on. "So Shep what's with yours and Valiant's faces and the new look to your guys is armor. It is quite beautiful I was up here when Jacob was painting it."

She had just finished attaching the last piece of her armor to her body and she looked it over approvingly. It was black as night and the right side had delicate vines in blue and purple weaving their way around numerous silver constellations all down her right side. It could only be seen by someone a few feet away otherwise her armor looked entirely black except for a small silver triple moon on her back were her sniper rifle attached to her. Valiant's was all black as well except his left side had swirls of gold in the forms of pythons that surrounded miniature bows and arrows that were in a blood red and vibrant orange and on his back there was a small golden sun in the same position as her moons.

"Well you could say we are going to be paying a little visit to Miss T'Loak and she would recognize us better as this then as Shepard and Officer Valiant and since I know you can keep a secret, EDI turn off surveillance in the Armory please."

"Yes Commander."

"Are you sure you want to tell her Elika?"

"She is going to find out once we meet Aria and if we get into a fight trying to recruit the cat will be out of the bag. Okay Kasumi so spill how much have you found out about the rest of the crew here?"

"Well Shep I know everything in our Alliance dossier along with Valiant's, Joker's and Chakwas. You guys have been through a lot together. Miranda and Jacob use to be an item at one point but had a falling out and they both have some skeletons in their closets. Donnelly, Gardner, Chambers and Daniels are boring their respective pasts are a little too clean cut with the exception of Chambers' alien fetishes that girl has some issues. But if you are referring to the two of you specifically I have some suspicions."

"And what are they Goto?" Braven asked.

"Well lets just say you two are hiding something, and both Joker and the Doc know. I would say you are related you have to many similarities to not be. You," she pointed to Valiant, "have the same color eyes, even though you tried to hide them, and hair as Shep and some very similar tattoos. Like the one on you back, it is different but way to similar. Plus your both biotics and you carry yourself the same way and dressed like this," she points to the both of them, "I would say your twins since he seems to be immolating Apollo and you are doing a fine job at Artemis I always loved Greek mythology."

"Bray what does she mean similar tattoos but different?"

"You can't judge but after losing you I met up with your Asari. I have the same ones you do on your arms but I have kept them well hidden from Cerberus and I have one similar to your back but instead of angel wings with feathers I took it a bit dark I have a pair of black and grey demon wings that have tears and holes, along the edges along the edges of the tears and wholes in red are names of everyone we have lost together and then there are drops of blood falling from the talons of the ones I have lost by myself. Don't worry your name was never included in it the wings themselves remind me of you."

"So do I get to see them?"

"That's a stupid question isn't."

"Okay my assumption on if you two are related is no confirmed I would have to probably say brother and sister."

"Well actually I would like to introduce you to my twin brother Braven Shepard code name Valiant and for today's purpose Apollo and I am Artemis we are pretty well known here on Omega that's why I sent the Cerberus duo ahead of us so if you to have everything lets head out." she said as she grabbed her pistol to attach to her hip and headed for the airlock.

* * *

It wasn't long after they left Normandy that Maklan had found them and told them Aria was looking for them and to head to Afterlife.

"That's close enough." Aria said as Shepard and Braven had entered her personal balcony in Afterlife. They had left Kasumi cloaked and told her to watch from the catwalks as a secondary precaution. Guns were pointed at them from every direction and a Batarian was in the process of trying to scan her and her brother. They were used to this form of Aria's paranoia. The Batarian gave Aria a nod then she turned to face the two newcomers.

"Apollo, Artemis or should I say Commander Shepard to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"So how long have you known?"

"Since you saved the Citadel and they plastered your holo on everything they could find. I must say it was an impressive rouse you pulled her last time and it is even more impressive that you are no longer dead. So I guess the only on Omega refers to you as well."

"Oh I remember don't Fuck with Aria. I am not planning on it I am only here for information and with it your debt is repaid."

"Deal what is it you want to know?"

"We are looking for a Turian named Garrus Vakarian and one named Archangel also a salarian named Mordin Solus?"

"Mordin Solus you can find in his clinic in the quarantine area I will let the guards no you are clear for entry but I wouldn't take any non-humans in with you the plague is killing everyone else and I would go armed there seems to be a vorcha problem down there as well. If you want Archangel I would go after him in a hurry he has been cleaning up the trash like no other and stays out of my way so I haven't gone after him but he has united the Eclipse, Blood Pack, and Blue Suns. The recruitment office is below us you should be able to get to him from there but I would hurry if you want him alive."

"What about Vakarian?"

"That shell of a turian I saw him a few months back haven't seen or heard from him since. So are we good?"

"Yes." El replied and headed back towards the club with her brother following.

"Apollo?" Aria called after him.

"Yes T'Loak?"

"You are always welcome here if you decided to leave your sister's side. I would more than make it worth your while."

"I think not." He said and quickly caught up with Elika and Kasumi outside the Merc recruitment office.

"You owe me 100 creds Kasumi I told you should make a pass at him." she was giggling as Kasumi handed her the credits.

"You two bet on that and you EL didn't warn me. I thought she was going to jump me where I stood, it was bad enough that I thought she was devouring me with her eyes that's just ewwweee creepy."

"Aghhh look Shep I think the big bad Asari scared little old Valiant."

"Goto…if you must its Braven or just Bray when its just us."

All of a sudden they could here laughing through their coms.

"Braven you face was brilliant… hah hah hee…El that was awesome."

"So the uplink works Joker?"

"Yep saw and heard everything. EDI says it is secure and untraceable it feeds directly into the cockpit and your quarters nowhere else. Miranda and Jacob just brought Massani on board. El you should see this guy."

"Tell the three of them to head to the clinic after they get the supplies and get them unloaded on the ship we will meet them there in a few hours were going merc hunting to rescue a turian vigilante it seems."

"Have fun…Sorry about Garrus will keep looking El."

"Thanks Jeff"

"You gave Joker an up link Shep?"

"Yep linked to my suit. I used to have one on the old Normandy for him saved my life once or twice but who's counting. Lets go gets a vigilante."


	17. Chapter 17

He wasn't sure how long he had been up. He kept firing shot after shot as the mercs tried to cross the bridge to get him. He had chosen his hide out well and if he hadn't been betrayed his team would still be alive. In the last few hours he noticed that the gangs had become more organized and the cannon fodder they were throwing at him were becoming less experienced. He knew it wouldn't be much longer until they got him and frankly he didn't know what he was living for anymore. His team was gone and she was gone the sole reason for his attempt to clean up the Traverse his sole reason for living it seemed. There was a new commotion on the bridge that stirred him out of his stupor. He looked through his scoop to see to individuals clad in identical black armor with daggers out and a blue biotic halo surrounding them. The mercs in front of them were being taken down systematically. Every few feet a biotic shockwave would throw them in the air and a cloaked individual behind them would pick them off with a pistol before they would hit the ground. The duo would then surge forward and clear a path and continue the slaughter the mercs didn't stand a chance against them. Their fighting brought up memories that he was trying to forget but he couldn't help watching them. When their faces came in to view in his rifle he felt the agony in his heart came full force to the front of his mind.

His mind must be playing tricks on him or it was too many stims because it could not be her. She was dead this was just some vision battling her way towards him waiting to take him to the spirits of his ancestors. He fired a concussive shot at her and when it hit her she looked straight at him and he could see the fire in her eyes the anger he knew all too well that fueled her during a fight. It wasn't long until her heard them on the stairs and he was lining up a final shot when he heard the voice that had been haunting his dreams for two years.

"Archangel?" he waved her off and took his shot then turned to face her as he removed his helmet. He took in the sight of her. The scars on her face were gone and her hair was longer and there was some strange tattoo that covered her right side of her face but it was his Elika and he knew it and he saw the recognition in her eyes and all he could do was brace himself for what was to come next.

"Garrus…" it was mere seconds before she realized that she was running at him and that he had opened his arms to her. She felt his arms pull her into his chest and they did not seem to want to let her go and everything in her didn't want them to.

"Not that I am not excited for this happy little reunion and all but how the hell did you get three gangs to untite and try to kill you Garrus?" Braven said as he surveyed the room.

Garrus turned to look at the other two occupants of the room while still holding Elika to his chest gently running his taloned hand through her hair not wanting to let her go. "Agghh you know me what can I say it's a long story and is best for another time but more important how are you here and I am guessing you're here for a reason?"

Elika finally pulled herself back enough to look up at the man that held her. "I will explain everything when we get back to the ship and the reason were here is we were looking to recruit Archangel for a mission and I was hoping to find you since there were rumors of you being on Omega a few months back but then you disappeared according to Aria."

"You talked to Aria?"

"Yeah she even made a pass at your boy over there. Kasumi Goto nice to meet you. Looks like you're a friend of Shep's here so how about we figure a way out of this kōchaku jōtai."

"Well it looks as the bridge is our only way out and it looks like the Eclipse are starting to muster and come across Kasumi go with Bray and hold the lower leaves Garrus and I will take them out from up here."

"El keep him safe, and you better watch her six or your dealing with me."

"It is official safe to say that besides you, your brother is the only other human that scares me." He said as he watched Kasumi and Braven return to the lower level. The woman beside him only giggled as she took out her rifle to start picking off the Eclipse mercs.

It wasn't long after the YMIR mech's fantastic malfunction that they had brought down Jaroth, the Eclipse leader, and Braven and Kasumi returned to their sides. Garrus was telling them the exploits of Jaroth when the building shook.

"Well it seems that someone started to use their brains they are coming in through the basement you guys need to head down there and seal the doors before they come through."

"Kasumi stay with Garrus, Bray and I got this." She said with a smirk as she sauntered off with her brother to the basement.

"Are they always like that?"

"You should have seen them on the Citadel. It felt as if I was watching a dance, they fight as one and I am lucky that I got to join them it was the deadliest yet easiest fight I have ever been in and the two of them were cracking jokes throughout it."

"Hey you two we can hear you and thanks for the compliment Vakarian." Braven replied as a stunned Garrus looked at Kasumi.

"El you already synced me into your comms?"

"Maybe and maybe your favorite pilot already is listening in as well."

"El you're not supposed to tell him I was hoping to get some dirt on him to use later."

"Joker do I need to remind you about that time I caught you with…." Garrus was cut off before he could finish by Joker yelling. "NO!"

"Back to the fight all of you… Shit that's going to leave a mark and its not funny Bray."

"What happened?" Garrus asked in a panic as he shot another Krogan attempting to cross the bridge.

"Oh nothing much just a varren she thought was dead was only playing and it bit her leg." Braven replied with a slight chuckle in his voice. Garrus didn't see the amusement behind the statement.

A short time later he could hear Gram trying to break through the door to get to him and Kasumi and told El to hurry up.

By the time she reached them Garm hand Kasumi and Garrus pinned down. Her biotics washed over her in her anger and lashed out in a biotic reave that brought Garm and his remanding cronies to their knees and Braven and Kasumi picked them off with ease with their pistols as Elika ran to Garrus side.

"Well I say we should make a break for it with only the Blue Suns left…" the windows blew in around them as a gunship appeared. "Damn I thought I got rid of that thing." Garrus said as he ran for cover.

They battled the gunship and the unloaded troops. By the time they brought Jentha and the merc on the stairs down Elika turned to watch Tarak take aim at Garrus who was pinned down behind a couch.

"GARRUS…." She yelled at him and watch as he fell to the floor. All she saw when she got to his side was blue blood seeping into the ground and then nothing.

Braven had barely any warning before he threw up a barrier around him and Kasumi. They watched as his sister single handedly take down a gunship in a biotic rage. "Joker we need evac now Garrus is down prep the med bay and clear the deck. El is unstable and we don't need any onlookers at this warn Chakwas."

"On my way. Miranda, Jacob and Massani just left to the clinic so we are clear of the duo. Chakwas has clearing the mess and has readied the med bay ETA five minutes."

"El, Joker and Chakwas are in route I need you to step back so I can help him."

* * *

Everything was a blur to her the next few hours. She remembered Chakwas arriving with Joker in the shuttle then on the Normandy Braven pulling her out of the med bay. She wasn't sure how she had found her way in to the plague district of Omega but she knew it had to due to her unstable biotics and her brother trying to get them under control. Vorcha and Krogan were meeting their end by her and her brother biotics and she could even remember bits and pieces of Miranda and Jacob's conversations about them but it wasn't until she got back to the clinic after she put the cure into the air filters that everything came to a crashing halt. Her biotics were under control and Mordin was discretely examining her that she realized that Garrus was hurt and she had put her family and crew in danger because of her emotions. She felt the exhaustion creep up on her and then nothing.

"What was that Officer Valiant?" Miranda asked as she looked at the unconscious woman in his arms.

"Ah I see now interesting. I will join the mission Daniel can see to things here now. Shall have my equipment sent to the ship and I feel we should get the commander back as soon as possible. Biotic fatigue and emotional distress, would do better in familiar surroundings upon awakening." Mordin said as he finished scans over the woman in Officer Valiant's arms.

"Officer Lawson if we could proceed to the Normandy I will tell you." Braven replied to her and walked out of the clinic with Elika in his arms. It wasn't long until he had laid her down in the med bay that he was being bombarded with questions.

"What was that Officer Valiant and who are you?"

"EDI activate protocol B Shepard 9 9 82." Braven said as he exited the med bay and headed towards Miranda's office.

"Protocol Activated Officer Shepard." EDI replied as Jacob and Miranda entered her office.

"Officer Shepard? Who the hell are you and what makes you think that EDI will follow your orders?"

"First off as to EDI I helped create her and she is required to follow all of Commander Shepard's orders it is set into her primary functions and can't be changed. Second what you don't know is that the moment Commander found me on board she made me her Second in command so I currently out rank you. Finally as to the Officer Shepard that is my name. Braven Emanuel Shepard born on Mindoir twin brother to one Elika Jean Shepard. You two were the only ones who didn't know that are on the ground team. The Salarian figured out moments after meeting the two of us and we have worked with Zaeed before under different aliases which you have now seen. If you need more information on us why don't you look up the Celestial Twins Apollo and Artemis, there is some very interesting stories your Illusive Man did not connect to her or me for that instance. Now that we are done here I am going to go back to my sister and see how she and Garrus are doing. I don't think you want the med bay in pieces when her biotics start to come back." With that said he turned and left two very stunned Cerberus officers in his wake as he returned to the med bay.

* * *

It was a few hours later that Braven heard Garrus stirring. "Hey Doc I think Garrus is starting to wake up." He watched her move to his side and perform a few scans then inject some pain killers into his IV before removing it. A few moments later he heard Garrus return to the land of the living with a very audible groan. "Nice to see that you're alive they buddy."

"Where am I?"

"You young man are in the med bay on the Normandy and I would appreciate if you would refrain from taking rockets to the side of your face in the future. The bandages will need to stay on for a while as the cybernetic implants heal your face. There will be scarring but you should obtain full mobility thankfully. And on a side note I don't think the Commander will mine the scars she will be happy that you're just alive." Chakwas said. She then turned to face the sleeping Commander and her brother. "Braven since I know Garrus will not follow medical advice you can move her to her bed she would be more comfortable there and you can take Garrus with you. He is well enough to watch over her until she wakes and you can get some rack time. I hope to not see any of you I the near future in my med bay but alas I believe I am hoping for too much." She said as she returned to her computer station.

"Come on I will show you to her quarters."

* * *

Garrus followed Braven up to Elika's quarters. He was surprised by the size of them. He looked at the fish tank and shook his head then headed over to her desk to examine the model ships. He noticed a framed picture of the two of them sitting by the Mako on her desk next to a stack of data pads. He then went down the stairs and watched as Braven laid Elika down on her bed.

"So am I setting your things up in the Battery or are we just going to cut through the awkward dancing around each other and move your things up here since I know that is where both of you would rather have it."

"I am not sure what you mean?"

"Grow a quad Garrus. Joker and I have had to deal with her since she woke up and all she has been doing is trying to find you. I know for a fact the vid you got after she died told you that she loved you and I know just by looking at you, you love her to. So if you don't want me to lock you in here until you straighten this shit out I would just man up and tell the woman you love her when she wakes up. You spent most of the time towards the end of the last tour in her quarters any ways. I am guessing if things hadn't turned out the way they did you two would have been well past this point anyways. So I am going to leave you here watch over her until she wakes up and will see about your quarters later." Garrus just stood there as he watched Braven leave the room. He turned his attention back to the sleeping woman in the bed. Garrus knew Brave was right he did love and she had said in that final vid that she loved him and it was her greatest regret not telling him. It was also his when he thought back on his life. So he decided that if she would have him he wasn't going anywhere. He sat down next to her on the bed then laid down next to her and shifted her next to him so her head was on his chest so he could hold her and caress her back.

* * *

It was an hour or so later that he felt her stir beside him and when he looked down he was looking into a pair of blue violet eyes and a he could see a start of a smile caressing her lips. "Am I dreaming?" She asked in her sleep laden voice.

"No love, your not."


End file.
